For some interesting tips on tantrums, read the following article by local Austin child/family thereapist, Crystal Stevenson. For more info, CLICK HERE for her website:
Yes, adults have them too….So maybe we don’t act on ours as often as our children do, but that’s because we have more impulse-control, practice at holding our tongues, and know that it wouldn’t be socially appropriate. But think of the last time you were returning something at a store, and the lady before you was told she couldn’t return her item for some reason or another, and the poor cashier is trying to keep her calm, callfor her manager, and then the manager gets an earful and arms are waiving all over the place while she’s explaining her case! Yes, we’ve all seen it (and maybe even done it!).So why do our kids do this daily? Various reasons: First of all, they too are trying to explain their case, and they do not have control over their voices, or the verbal skills yet to explain their case, so they kick, scream, stomp, and wail their arms (sound like the lady above?). They are trying to let you know how mad they are that they don’t have control over their environment, and feel frustrated and helpless that they can’t change it (no matter how many managers the lady yells at, they still wont let her return the item). You are telling your child they can’t have what they want when they want it, and they’re telling you “That stinks!” in the only way they know how right now. Practicing impulse-control is something that comes with age, constant redirection by caregivers, and lack of response to the behavior as they get older are only a few ways you can handle thesetantrums. But sometimes the child just needs to hear, “I know it frustrates you, and you wish things were different.”
Crystal Stevenson, MA, LPC-I
Individual, Family, and Child Therapy
