Archive for February, 2010

Stress and Children

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

Did you know that children are just as likely as adults to feel stressed and overwhelmed?

Contributors to childhood stress include school, over-scheduling or family dynamics. Many young children put pressure on themselves by worrying about peer pressure, balancing school work with extra-curricular activities and making friends. Even preschoolers can feel stress. Their stress points may be separation from parents, a change in daily care or a new baby. Young children may express their stress through a change in their eating habits, talking less or trying to control bodily functions.

How can parents help? When your child complains about having too many things to do after-school or not wanting to go to activities – listen – this may be a signal that a child is over-scheduled and may need a break. Be sensitive to behavioral or developmental changes.

Parents should also be aware of how they manage their own stress and frustration. Children learn from their parents’ behavior, even if it looks like they’re not paying attention. Children are sensitive to everything their parents do and they will mimic strategies for dealing with difficult situations. Be a good role model.

One of the best coping mechanisms for children is routine. Young children thrive on routine; when they know what to expect they are more likely to adapt to changes faster and deal with their emotions better.

Find out what we’re doing that’s educational and fun each month with the Goddard School monthly events newsletter SUBSCRIBE HERE

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The Difference between Discipline and Punishment

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

The question of how to discipline a child comes up regularly in discussions with parents at The Goddard School.  Here are some helpful ideas on this topic.

goddard school cedar park child care

Contrary to popular belief, discipline and punishment are not equal.  Discipline is positive and should prevent the need for punishment.  In fact, the word “discipline” is derived from the Latin “disciplina” which means teaching or education.  Discipline helps to guide children toward positive behavior, promotes self-control, encourages children to think before acting and is not damaging to their self-esteem.  Punishment, on the other hand, is negative – whether physical, verbal, withholding rewards or penalizing.

Positive discipline teaches children rules and behaviors in a respectful, loving and considerate way.  It requires thought, planning and patience from parents and caretakers, such as:

  • “No, don’t run inside!” becomes, “What happened to our walking feet?  Where do we use our running feet?”  or “We will go outside soon and you can show me how fast you can run.”
  • “No, don’t throw the blocks!” becomes, “When did our blocks grow wings?” or “Let’s try building a castle and see what happens!”

Use positive discipline to redirect your child’s behavior, and you validate the legitimacy of your child’s desires and shows you care and understand.  Redirecting endorses your child’s right to choose and begins to teach that others have rights, too.

Children also respond to reasoning – it just needs to be put into their language.

  • ‘Inside feet’ versus ‘outside feet’
  • ‘Soft hands’ versus ‘hard hands’
  • ‘Inside voices’ versus ‘outside voices’

Create a Positive Environment

  • Show the love; smile, touch, hold, caress, kiss, cuddle, rock and hug your child!  This will not only make your child feel secure and happy, but is essential for normal social development.
  • Listen and answer as an equal – not as an instructor.  This will help build your child’s self-esteem and foster respect.
  • Spend time with your child every day.  Make time every day to drop everything and play with your child – even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.  Your child will realize they don’t need to have a temper tantrum to gain your attention.
  • Catch your child doing something good – praise and compliment!  “You’re doing a great job feeding yourself and keeping your food on your plate!”
  • Provide simple rules and state them in positive terms.
  • Demonstrate the behavior you want your child to adopt – actions speak louder than words.

Find out what we’re doing that’s educational and fun each month with the Goddard School monthly events newsletter SUBSCRIBE HERE

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Play and your child

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

At The Goddard School, first time parents sometimes ask about the best way to bond and interact with their child.  Here are some insights from Dr. Pruett, MD.

Find ways to involve your children in the richness of your ‘grown-up’ life.  Be creative and patient because the results are worth your effort!
best preschool
For young children, play is a lot more than entertainment. It is central to their development.  A wonderful way to play with and teach children is to bring them into your world, where ‘real-life’ happens.  Children love to do ‘grown-up’ things and to imitate you.  And when they contribute, they see themselves as players and get a well-earned self-esteem boost!

Children also learn about important values and concepts from watching you.  They see the result of practice and perseverance, and they come to know that learning is a lifelong process. They see that everyone, even a grown-up, can make mistakes and can learn from them.

There are two easy and enjoyable ways for your children to play in the grown-up world: you can let them help with your chores and you can include them in your favorite pastimes.

Work as play:  Include your children in your household routine.  There are countless safe ways for children to help with meals, laundry, shopping or cleaning.  They can help mix recipe ingredients, pick fruit at the grocery store, water the garden or pack their lunch.  These activities are fun learning experiences, especially if you are teaching informally along the way.  The chores may take a little longer as they learn the ropes, make mistakes, and work at a snail’s pace, but the value for their learning and their self-regard are more than worth the extra time.

Hobbies and pastimes:  Share your interests with your children.  This is one of the most intriguing, emotionally rich forms of learning that children can receive.  Teach your children about your avocations, and keep up with your piano, chess, painting, hiking or gardening.   Your enthusiasm for your hobbies will be infectious and offer many ways for your children to learn and develop skills.

Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., is an advisor for The Goddard School®.  Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years.  He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.

Visit our website @ http://www.goddardschool.com//Schools/Cedar-Park-TX/Schools.gspx.  You  can find out what we’re doing that’s educational and fun each month with the Goddard School monthly events SUBSCRIBE HERE

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Children and biting

Monday, February 15th, 2010

At The Goddard School, our parents of toddlers often ask about the issue of biting. Here are some suggestions by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D.

Why does a nearly universal event in a child’s development evoke such strong feelings? Odds are – as children we were either a biter or a victim – and often both. Plus, biting hurts and frightens us a lot. And though we know aggression is a normal part of development, regular cruelty is not, and we fear the connection between the two.

Dr. Kyle D. Pruett, M.
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Some thoughts to help us manage:

  • When children first bite, it is often their mother while breast-feeding, and their motive is most probably curiosity – not aggression. Mothers should send the following message to their infant: “Ouch, no and if you bite, you lose the breast – end of discussion.”
  • Biting often begins as exploration, but may be quickly associated with out-of-control feelings or feelings of being overwhelmed – with excitement, fear or curiosity. Parents should manage these feelings by staying as calm as possible and firmly saying:

o “No one likes biting, especially me.”
o “You just cannot bite.”
o “I’ll help you stop until you stop yourself.”

  • Parents often fear biting at school most. Peers, especially close ones, are fascinated by each other’s aggression, and the dramatic reactions it evokes. Adult overreaction just makes things more exciting! Experienced teachers have radar for when ‘the chompies’ are in the air and become particularly vigilant.
  • If all adults involved in a biting incident are convinced that it was not an isolated but willful, premeditated event, both children should be kept safe.  Adults should explore the language of what went on and be able to offer alternative responses.

Finally, it bears stating – parents should never bite children back. Believe me, I understand the impulse, but all you accomplish is establishing mutual violence as an acceptable value in your family, embarrassing yourself, and degrading the natural authority you have with your children.  They want your help with this stuff, not your indulgence.

Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®.  Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years.  He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.

Visit our website @ http://www.goddardschool.com//Schools/Cedar-Park-TX/Schools.gspx & find out what we’re doing that’s educational and fun each month with the Goddard School monthly events SUBSCRIBE HERE

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TV and Reading

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

To followup on my last post about TV and literacy,  here is some information related to this topic.  Selective TV programming can be beneficial, as noted below.

The American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents to avoid television and other electronic media for children two years of age and under; yet two thirds of infants and toddlers watch a ‘screen’ for an average of two hours per day.

Ever Watchful
Image by BGLewandowski via Flickr

Older children have a similar average; however children ages eight to eighteen have an average of four hours per day. This amount of time spent in front of a computer, television, video game or the like can interfere with school work, physical activity, curious exploration, social interaction and playing. Many children also get in the (bad) habit of eating snacks while watching TV or playing computer games which can turn into a habit of eating when not hungry and contribute to childhood obesity.

Extended exposure to television poses serious risks.

  • Children who watch violent shows or play violent (video) games may become desensitized to violence at a higher rate.
  • These violent (video) games re-enforce stereotypical gender roles which are often demeaning to women.
  • Children who view what is considered “risky behavior” such as smoking, drinking, doing drugs, selling drugs or having sex are at a greater risk.
  • It has been suggested that the more television a child watches, the higher their risk of developing an attention deficit disorder. For every hour a day a child watches a screen, their chances go up 10%. (If a child watches four hours of television every day, they are 40% more likely to develop an attention deficit disorder.)
  • Children are bombarded with commercials. They are conditioned to think they need the advertised products to make them happier.
  1. If your three-year-old watches television every day and regularly sees a happy child playing with a toy, she will begin to believe that she will only be happy when she has that toy.
  2. Commercials may encourage unhealthy eating habits which can lead to an unhealthy eating habit called “snacking habit.” This snacking is generally a component of a sedentary, unhealthy lifestyle.

Watching TV, however, may provide benefits – Sesame Street has long been credited with helping youngsters learn the alphabet and its’ shows also depict racial and social diversity.  Subscribe to The Goddard School newsletter HERE

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TV and Literacy

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

The topic of TV time comes up with parents and many are not aware of its negative effect upon children, including literacy.  The following article provides some interesting insights:

Are you surprised that the American Academy of Pediatrics says no television before age two?  This standard alerts parents of infants, toddlers and preschoolers that their children are strongly affected by the talking tube and that they need to consider the way their children are exposed to its powerful influences.

  • If you chose to allow your children to view television, consider limiting the amount of “watching time” in their first three years to 30-90 minutes per day. This is more than enough for their young brains and eyes.  Children prefer, and benefit from, interacting with people far more.
  • The programming you chose should be specifically directed at the age of your child. Most good parenting magazines regularly publish guidelines that tend to be more objective and reliable than an advertiser’s suggestions.
  • Commercial-free is far better for eyes, ears, and minds.  Fewer interruptions and a generally higher level of intellectual and emotional content are the benefits.
  • A child’s room does not need a television. Television may inhibit a child’s desire to read and play imaginatively for years.
  • When your children watch television, watch with them.  They may need your help to decipher the barrage of messages, and only you know when they have had enough.  Occasional babysitting by means of television so you can get something done is understandable, but may be a waste of your child’s time and mind.

These guidelines should be discussed regularly by all adults in your household. The evening news may matter to the grown-ups, but it is frequently incomprehensible and somewhat frightening to your little ones. Media-literate parents are great blessings to their children.

Suggested resource: Coalition for Quality Children’s Media www.cqcm.org

Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®.  Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years.  He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.  Subscribe to The Goddard School monthly newsletter by CLICKING HERE

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Reading and Literacy articles

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

Along with my recent blogs on reading and literacy, here is a category link on earlier articles on this topic.  Enjoy!

http://blogs.goddardschool.com/Cedar-Park-TX/category/general/reading-literacy/

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