Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Positive Alternatives to “No”

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

At Goddard School of Cedar Park, we offer the “Love & Logic” parenting course at selected evenings throughout the year to non-enrolled, as well as enrolled, families.   The fall series begins on 9/22/11 – call us at 512-258-5292 to attend the first free 2 hour session.  It provides many great ideas for positive communications with your child, such as the tips below.

Children should begin to learn to respect limits from a young age. Most boundaries for children are set for health and safety reasons and are a very important and necessary developmental tool. Children are corrected every day, which can lead them to simply “tune out” any perceived negativity or become uncooperative. Regardless of their age, most people respond better to positively communicated direction. This is especially true for children. For example, “Grandma is worried about us getting stains on her couch. Let’s enjoy our snack in her kitchen instead,” will generate more cooperation than “No food or drinks in Grandma’s living room.”

Try telling your child what they can do instead of what they can’t. Practice the positive alternatives below to avoid overusing the word “no” while maintaining reasonable limits.

•     “Maybe later” can work to delay a request such as snacks or sweets before mealtime.

•    “Not today” communicates that the timing is wrong but leaves the possibility open.

•    “When we’ve done (this), then we can do (that).” This method is good for transition times and to help toddlers establish event routines. For example, “When all of your toys are put away, we can go play at the park.”

•    “I’ll think about it” replaces an automatic “no” by allowing yourself the time to think about your determination. Parents tend to make better decisions when they take the time to think about the request and their response.

•    “Sure, did you bring your allowance?” This technique allows you to communicate that they may have the requested item if they can pay for it themselves.

•    “Yes (with qualifier).” This strategy grants conditional permission. For example, “Yes, you may play the game after we eat dinner.”

Back to School, Part 2

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

This is part 2 of “Back-to-school season.” If you have answered “no” to most of these questions in the previous blog post, it might be time to implement more routine chores. Aggen, owner of Goddard School of Cedar Park, suggests the following ideas that could help parents save time and institute organizational skills for their kids:Teacher & Girl
• Be sure to discuss the highlights and events that happened at school with your child each day.
• Help your child prepare for school the night before, including assisting your child in selecting clothes to wear for school. After a while, he or she will be able to do this without your assistance.
• Designate a time each night that your child should go to sleep. Children need 9 to 11 hours of sleep each night, depending on their age.
• Choose an area in the home, such as by the front door, to store your child’s school bag and any supplies he or she may need for school (e.g., art projects, thank-you notes/gifts for teachers).
• Have a daily to-do list posted in an area your child will see each day.

About The Goddard School
The Goddard School (www.goddardschools.com) is a nationwide franchise of Goddard Systems, Inc. headquartered in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. With over 330 franchised schools nationwide and 42,000 children enrolled, Goddard is the fastest growing preschool in the United States. You can subscribe to our monthly events newsletter via the option under “School Information.”

Kindergarten Bullying

Saturday, March 5th, 2011
the picture consist of articles on bullying, I...

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Kindergarten and Pre Kindergarten parents at Goddard School of Cedar Park ask about tips to deal with bullies encountered in their neighborhood or in other venues in the community.  This is part 2 of our last post.  Here are some suggestions contributed by Laura Baker, High Five Parenting and written by Jim Fay:

Once the teacher felt that the class had mastered saying, “Thanks for sharing that with me,” in the appropriate way, he started having them practice jumping up out of their seats, putting on the “cool look,” and saying their one-liner.

The next step was for the kids to learn to turn around on the last word and walk away fast without looking back at the teasing child. Needless to say, they all did their practice until the skill was mastered. They even spent some of their recess time practicing this on the playground.

Now that the skill was learned, practiced and mastered, Mr. Mendez could
implement his part of the operation. When children came to him to tattle about others teasing them he consistently asked, “Did you let him get by with it or did you use your ‘cool skill’?”

In the event that child admitted that he had not used his/her skill, the teacher said, “How sad that you let him get away with it. Do you suppose you are going to continue to let him get by with it or are you going to use your skill? It’s your choice, but tattling to me is no longer a choice.”

Mr. Mendez tells us that the amount of tattling and complaining has been reduced by over 90%. He also proudly tells about one of his students who came to him asking if they had to use the one-liner he taught them, or could they make up their own.

This second-grader wanted to demonstrate to the class the one-liner that he used so successfully on the playground.  He stood before the class and said, “This other kid on the playground was dissin’ me. He said I had the skinniest arms in the whole school. I put on my ´cool look.´ I grinned and said, ´Bummer, I thought I was cool, man.´ I walked away before he could figure out what to say. Man, I blew his mind!”

All the kids clapped for this skillful second-grader, and the teacher beamed with pride as he thought to himself, “Now that kid is really ‘teaseproofed’ for sure.”  You don’t have to wait for the teacher to “teaseproof” your kids. You can do it in your home the same way Mr. Mendez did in the classroom. What a gift you can give your child, and come to think of it, what a gift it is to a parent to know that we can send our kids out into the world “teaseproofed.”

Since the development of the “cool look” skill, many different kids have found sanctuary in its use. One of the most creative applications was seen at a local school where the kids seem to take great pleasure in claiming to do research on the behavior of other kids’ mothers and attacking each other with this information when they are mad.

One kid yelled out to the other in this fashion and the youngster being attacked put on his “cool look”and returned, “I tell her to be nice, but she gets mad when I tell her what to do.” With this he turned and walked away.
The teacher who witnessed this reported that the attacker’s mouth fell open and all he could say under his breath was, “Man, that guy’s weird. He be weird.”

Now the kid who pulled this one off is absolutely “teaseproofed.” Even if kids try to tease him, the attacks will bounce off like Ping-Pong balls off a stone wall.

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Bullying – Tips to Dealing with it

Friday, March 4th, 2011
the picture consist of articles on bullying, I...

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Kindergarten and Pre Kindergarten parents at Goddard School of Cedar Park sometimes ask about tips to deal with bullying issues encountered in their neighborhood or in other venues in the community.  Here are some great suggestions contributed by Laura Baker, High Five Parenting.

Teaseproof Your Kids By Jim Fay
“Mom, I don’t want to go to school. It’s not fair. Mrs. Taylor tells the kids not to tease me, but they still do it when she’s not watching ‘em. I try to ignore ‘em just like you said, but they just do it all the more.”

Loving parents who are confronted with this feel like a piece of their hearts is being ripped out. What a hopeless feeling we have when our kids are being rejected or teased by other kids. It is not uncommon at these times to have feelings that include both heartache and rage.

We think to ourselves, “Why can’t the school people protect my child? Don’t they realize that we put our kids in their hands, and therefore, our trust?”
The sad truth is that the more a teacher protects the child who is teased, the more resentful and aggressive the other children become. A teacher who tells kids to be nice to a specific child actually “marks” that youngster and sets him/her up for more intense rejection and ridicule.

When it comes to teasing, the only person who can protect your child from teasing is your child. Kids have some sort of built-in sonar that causes them to zero in on certain kids and they can be unmerciful in the torment.

Watching this happen can be a gut-wrenching experience for any adult. But the good news is that we can actually help kids become “teaseproof.”
Have you ever noticed that some kids never get teased while others are constantly subjected to teasing? There is a pattern to this.

Kids who are never teased never worry about being teased. They can’t imagine that it would ever happen to them. They have an aura around them that says, “I can handle myself.”  Kids who do get teased constantly worry about being ridiculed and send out nonverbal messages that indicate lack of confidence and fear of teasing.

Children are especially in tune with non-verbal signals of weakness. Without
realizing what they are doing they zero in on these kids. Two subconscious goals come into play. The first is, “I can show others that I am superior to that kid,”and the other is, “That kid’s weak and I better show him that he needs to toughen up.”

Remember that none of this happens at the conscious level. It just happens and appears to be human nature.  The trick to “teaseproofing” a youngster is giving him/her the skills to be able to handle teasing. Once the child realizes he/she can actually handle the problem, you will see a change in the non-verbal attitude. The other kids will recognize this and start looking for different targets.

Mr. Mendez, a wonderful second-grade teacher, “teaseproofed” his whole class. He said to the class, “Kids, the reason kids tease other kids is that it makes them feel superior. Now you can let them get away with this or you can use an adult one-liner.

But first of all, we all have to practice the ´cool look.´”  This teacher had the kids practice standing with their hands in their pockets, rocking back on their heels, and putting a cool grin on their face.  He practiced this over and over. Every now and then, he would yell out, “Let’s see your ´cool look.´” The kids would all jump out of their seats and put on the “look.”

Once they had all mastered the “cool look,” he said, “When kids start to tease you, put on your ´cool look.´ Keep the look going while they tease. As soon as they get through putting you down, use your one-liner.”  The one-liner he taught them is one of the famous Love and Logic One-Liners, “Thanks for sharing that with me. “Mr.Mendez had the kids practice this, making
sure that they kept the “cool look” on while they said the words.

Every now and then, when the kids would least expect it, he would yell out, “Let me hear your one liner!” And the kids would practice saying the words, making sure to grin while they said them.

High Five Parenting offers the Love and Logic Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!™ course throughout the Austin area, including Cedar Park, Pflugerville, and Westlake. To learn more about High Five Parenting, please visit www.highfiveparenting.com.

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Bullying

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Goddard preschool parents sometimes ask how to deal with bullying issues that occur outside of our school setting and particularly as a child goes off to elementary school.   The following ideas may be helpful.

Bullying is a common experience for many children and adolescents.  When your child is the victim of bullying it’s best to make sure the lines of communication are open, no matter how old the children are.

Parents and teachers are sometimes reluctant to intervene in conflicts between young children. They don’t want to see children harm or ridicule one another, but they want to encourage children to learn how to work out problems for themselves.

Some suggestions from National Association for the Education of Young Children on how to teach children assertive skills:

  • Demonstrate assertive behavior (e.g., saying “No” to another child’s unacceptable demands) and contrast aggressive or submissive responses through demonstrations. Let children role-play with puppets or dolls.
  • Teach children to seek help when confronted by the abuse of power (physical abuse, sexual abuse, or other) by children or adults.
  • Remind children to ignore routine teasing by turning their heads or walking away. Not all provocative behavior must be acknowledged.
  • Teach children to ask for things directly and respond directly to each other. Friendly suggestions are taken more readily than bossy demands. Teach children to ask nicely, and to respond appropriately to polite requests.
  • Show children how to tell bullies to stop hurtful acts and to stand up for themselves when they are being treated unfairly.
  • Encourage children not to give up objects or territory to bullies (e.g., say, “I’m using this toy now”). Preventing bullies from getting what they want will discourage aggressive behavior.
  • Show children the rewards of personal achievement through standing up for themselves, rather than depending on the approval of others solely.

The key to promoting positive interactions among young children is teaching them to assert themselves effectively. Children who express their feelings and needs while respecting those of others will be neither victims nor aggressors.

Separation Anxiety

Sunday, January 2nd, 2011

Goddard preschool parents sometimes ask about separation anxiety,  which is a common element of early childhood development.  Although perfectly normal, it can be upsetting to parents and children.

It typically begins around a child’s first birthday and can persist until the child is two-and-a-half years old.  It is important to note that a child’s unwillingness to leave a parent is actually a positive sign of a healthy parent/child relationship.

The following strategies may help families manage separation anxiety:

  • Practice being apart from one other and introduce new people and places slowly.  Make a few visits to your preschool/childcare center before your scheduled start date.  This allows your child to adjust to the idea that you and he will be away from one another.
  • Explain how long it will be before you will return.  Use concepts that your child will understand (e.g., at lunch or after naptime).  It is extremely important that you follow through on your promises.  You should return when you say you will.
  • Be calm and consistent.  Resist the urge to run back to your child at the sight of her tears.  It’s as essential to create a ‘separation routine’ as it is to reassure your child that you will return.  Work with your child’s teacher to establish this routine and have confidence that your child’s teacher has the ability to handle the situation.  After you’ve said your goodbyes, most teachers will probably engage your child in an activity or with a toy so you can depart.
  • For your sake, establish a time to call the school to check on your child’s well-being.  By the time you make this call, your child will most likely have calmed down and adjusted to the day’s routine.
  • You may also want to check with your school’s policy regarding a doll or blanket from home.  These comfort items may assist with transitions.

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Children and Chores

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

At The Goddard School, parents ask about tips about children and chores.  A wonderful way to play with and teach children is to bring them into your world, where ‘real-life’ happens. Children love to do ‘grown-up’ things and to imitate you. And when they contribute, they see themselves as players and get a well-earned self-esteem boost!

Age-Appropriate Chore Ideas
Toddlers

  • Pick up toys and books
  • Collect dirty laundry
  • Dust with socks on hands

Preschoolers

  • Make the bed
  • Help with laundry
  • Help in the kitchen – cooking and preparing food
  • Set the table
  • Take dirty dishes to the kitchen
  • Carry and put away groceries

Pre-Kindergarteners

  • Empty the dishwasher
  • Feed the family pet
  • Vacuum
  • Take out the trash
  • Fold and put away laundry

These activities are fun learning experiences, especially if you are teaching informally along the way. The chores may take a little longer as they learn the ropes and make mistakes, but the value for their learning and their self-regard are more than worth the extra time.

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Child Safety Tips

Friday, September 24th, 2010

As Goddard Schools have been around for as long as 20 years, a lot of safety and health processes and design are part of a Goddard School construction.  Here are some suggestions, based upon this wealth of knowledge, that you can incorporate into your home.

As a parent, you probably never stop worrying about your child. Is he or she happy? Healthy? Safe? While you can’t control everything, there are steps that you can take in your home to help improve your child’s safety and well-being.

Childproofing your home can be an overwhelming task. The most effective way to start is to evaluate your home, room by room, from your child’s perspective. If your child is crawling, get down on your hands and knees. Is your child toddling or walking? Get down to his or her level and check out the view. If you were crawling, toddling or walking where would you go? What looks tempting or interesting? What is within reach? Where could you climb? While not all accidents can be avoided, below are some general childproofing tips to help you get started. Remember to evaluate every area in your home for potential dangers.

Also keep in mind that childproofing is an ongoing process. As your child grows and develops (e.g., crawling, toddling, walking), you will need to reevaluate your childproofing efforts upon each milestone.

Furniture & Appliances

  • Secure heavy furniture and appliances to walls wherever possible.
  • Store heavy items on the bottoms of furniture such as bookshelves and cabinets so they are not top heavy.
  • Keep furniture and/or office drawers closed when not in use – climbing children tend to use these as ladders.
  • Make sure heavy appliances, such as televisions and computers, are pushed back from the edges of furniture – bolt them to the wall if possible.
  • Cover pointed edges of furniture with guards or bumpers
  • In the kitchen, use a stove guard to prevent your child from touching the burners or pulling at hot pots.
  • Use plastic covers if the stove’s knobs are within your child’s reach.
  • Always lock your oven or invest in a lock to prevent your child from opening the oven door.

Doors & Windows

  • Keep windows and doors closed and locked when not in use.
  • Use door knob covers. Be sure that these covers are sturdy enough not to break, but also allow doors to open quickly by and adult in case of emergency.
  • Use door stops or door holders on doors and hinges to keep little fingers safe.
  • Place marks or stickers on glass and sliding doors to make them visible.
  • Keep furniture away from windows.
  • If you have double hung windows, open them from the top.
  • Never open low windows more than four inches.
  • Use window stops, to prevent windows from opening more than four inches.

Blinds, Curtains & Draperies

  • Keep your child’s crib or bed away from blinds, curtains or draperies.
  • Keep blind, curtain and drapery pull cords out of your child’s reach.
    • Cut or remove pull cords.
    • Replace pull cords with safety tassels.
    • Use inner cord stops.
  • Make sure that older blinds and drapery cords have tie-down devices to hold the cords tight.
  • When purchasing new window coverings ask for those with child safety features.

Bathroom

  • Keep the toilet seat down when not in use.
  • Install a toilet lid lock to prevent your child from lifting the lid.
  • Always unplug appliances such as curling irons and hair dryers, after each use (and never keep anything plugged‑in near water).
  • Keep all medications and vitamins in a locked cabinet.
  • Keep razors, scissors, tweezers and other sharp bathroom objects in a high or locked cabinet.
  • Set your water heater temperature to 120 degrees or lower to help prevent burns from hot water.
  • Install anti-scald devices on faucets and showerheads.
  • Use a non-slip mat in the bathtub and on the floor next to the bathtub to prevent slips.

Cabinets, Closets & Drawers

  • Secure cabinets, closets and/or drawers with locks or child-proof latches.
  • Store sharp, potentially harmful objects and dangerous products in high cabinets, out of your child’s reach.

Stairways & Other Areas

  • At the top and bottom of stairs, use safety gates that screw in place; they are more secure than those that stay in place with pressure.
  • Use safety gates that children cannot dislodge, but that you can easily open and close so you will be less likely to leave them open.
  • Use safety gates to prevent your child’s curious exploration into dangerous areas around your home such as the kitchen, bathroom, pool and hot tub.

Electrical Outlets

  • Cover or replace all electrical outlets.
    • Plastic Outlet Protectors –These devices fit directly into the outlet holes to prevent the insertion of foreign objects. If using these protectors; make sure they are large enough not to be a choking hazard.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Covers – These outlets look just like regular outlets, but use a plastic shutter to prevent the insertion of foreign objects.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Face Covers – These receptacle covers have plates that slide over the outlet holes when not in use. Some require replacing the entire outlet cover, others install over the existing outlet face cover.
  • Use a power strip safety cover on all in-use power strips.

Sources: www.cpsc.gov, www.babycenter.com, www.kidshealth.org

Call us at 512.258.5292 for a tour of The Goddard School of Cedar Park!

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Positive Parenting Tips

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

The Goddard School supports positive parenting techniques and we hope you enjoy the guest article below!  Many of our own teachers are “Love and Logic” graduates via the workshops offered to enrolled and non-enrolled parents at our school.

When children whine and argue it is tempting to say, “Stop!,”  “Quit whining!,” or “Calm down!” However, the next time your child has a meltdown, try repeating, “I will be happy to listen when your voice is calm like mine,” or, “I will be happy to help when your voice is calm like mine,” in a non-emotional voice.  Parents report that if they are calm and consistent, it doesn’t take long for their children to learn that the adult is not going to get hooked into the argument.  And, the child learns to calm down quickly!

Shockingly diverse kindergarten group in Paris
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After facilitating a Love and Logic Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!™ introduction session, I received an email from a mother that attended and tried this technique.  Shawn wrote, “I have already started using some of the tools and they are not only working to give some power back to the kids, to problem solve and make better choices, but more important for us all is that I FEEL CALMER!  Thank you for this taste of sanity.  Ahhh…”

If you could use a “taste of sanity,” please join us for this five week course that focuses on children from birth through age six.  We explore easy-to-use skills to help parents raise respectful, responsible kids and lower our parenting stress.

This program holds a 30-year track record of success and is designed to help parents in FIVE key areas:
•    Preserve and enhance the child’s self-concept.
•    Teach children how to own and solve the problems they create.
•    Share the control and decision-making.
•    Offer empathy, then consequences.
•    Build the adult-child relationship.
As a stay-at-home mom, I have the opportunity to put these principals into practice everyday.  My husband and I have found that the Love and Logic techniques allow us to spend less time handling behavior, giving us more time to enjoy our children.

And as a facilitator of this course, I have the opportunity to see parents come back to class each week more relaxed and more confident.  My own experiences as well as their success stories inspire me to spread the word about Love and Logic.

The Goddard School of Cedar Park, located at 1905 El Salido Parkway, is hosting the Love and Logic Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!™ course on Tuesday evening, October 19th from 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm.  Childcare is available.  To register, visit www.highfiveparenting.com or contact Laura at 512.784.5231 or highfiveparenting@gmail.com.

Don’t miss this opportunity to make parenting less stressful!

Laura Baker
Independent Facilitator
Love and Logic Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!™

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Infant Cognitive Development

Monday, April 12th, 2010

At The Goddard School of Cedar Park, we’re asked occasionally about programs designed to “accelerate” the cognitive development of babies.

Brain research tells us that, of the 100 billion (!) nerve cells we are born with, the ones we are most likely to keep longest are the ones that are used regularly in our interaction with the world around us. This does NOT mean that we can increase our child’s intellectual or developmental competence through so-called ‘brain stimulation’ videos or surround-sound cribs.  Infants and toddlers enjoy learning first and best the things they learn in their relationships with the people that care for them.

Infant GirlSome things to keep in mind for the development of theirs:

  • Children can distinguish the voice of their father from their mother at birth – and their handling styles at six weeks.
  • The most useful kind of stimulation is the kind babies can manage, learn from, and interact with. Vocalizations like the coos and giggles they initiate should be returned in kind – matching volume, pitch, and rhythm if you can. Be alert because they’ll often throw in a variation. The same is true for older children who sing and initiate games like peek-a-boo or patty cake.  Tapes or videos are no match for the joy and value of ‘live.’
  • Want to encourage a positive self-image?  For babies, tender and frequent touch makes them feel treasured, and for toddlers and preschoolers, install a (safe) full-length mirror on the back of a door and provide dress-up or ‘pretend’ clothes and just watch them feel special.
  • Keep your eyes and ears open for emerging motor skills, interests, words, emotions, and feelings. When such competencies are new, they are both adorable and vulnerable.  Remember not to overwhelm children by requesting a ‘show’ of their new tricks. This can be over-stimulating and cause quite the opposite effect – anxiety about new abilities instead of confidence.  Let children practice and enjoy their new skill.

HOW you are as a parent with your children matters far more than any particular thing you may ever DO with them.  Development is not a race; it is a process that unfolds uniquely in each child. Rushing development erodes children’s belief in, and joy of, their own emerging abilities, replacing joy with frustration and discouragement – too high a price in my book.

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