Archive for August, 2010
Monday, August 30th, 2010
The Grown Up Life: Marriage & Parenting
by Dr. Kyle Pruett
Parental and marital burnout is a common fellow traveler at the end of the third parental year. It should not be ignored, any more than a lump or a polyp. And it is just as important that you fix it while it is still benign.
It seems to show up now because we finally let ourselves relax a bit, having gotten our kids talking, potty-trained (or at least started), loving and human enough to believe they will at least have a life. But that’s when we often begin wondering about our own life, sometimes for the first time in years.
Research on family development shows that marital satisfaction can get perilously low early in the lives of kids because they seem to be such huge energy sinks. Thoughts of “Are-we-having-fun-yet?” guiltily badger mothers and fathers, especially if they keep these thoughts to themselves. If you are not enjoying parenting, it may mean that you are working too hard at it. You may be allowing yourself no savor time because you are too busy whipping the process of development into a frenzy. My father’s favorite relevant quote: “Trying to teach a pig to sing is just a waste of time. It frustrates the farmer and really irritates the pig.” Return to being a parent, not a driver, and let your child return to growing instead of balking.
As for the marriage or partnership that spawned this child, it, too, is usually nurtured by a heart-mind connection that requires periodic preventive and reparative maintenance. The three-year or 36,000-mile (stairs, chasing, cruise & snooze, shopping) check-up is critical for long-term endurance, because if that machine isn’t purring along, the wheels are going to eventually come off, given the road conditions ahead.
Take time to be together and uncover who you are as adults with minds, opinions, ideas, hobbies, yearnings and dreams. Date, overnight away, lunch, whatever. Pay someone else to feed or entertain you for a change, to reverse the energy flow. Replenishing affection between adults takes conscious effort. Childcare involves so much touching, holding, carrying, bathing and comforting that adult affection can simply get crowded out of a relationship. But the replenishment of that affectional and intellectual tie between the adults will be especially important in the years to come when the older school-age child wouldn’t get caught dead kissing a parent on the cheek, much less discuss the idea!
Bottom line: you’ll be fine. Meanwhile, celebrate how far you’ve come together, and whom you have uniquely become together. These have been golden years to savor and adore. None of us would amount to anything without each other, and these early parenting years show better than any others.
To learn more about The Goddard School click here.
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Friday, August 20th, 2010
by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D.
Children’s sleep issues are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master. But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.
Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
- Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
- The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night. Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
- Start them young – do not ignore the importance of naps, watch for the yawn, and start bedtime early in the evening.
- The transition from crib to bed is also a time of sleep pattern changes, but most kids want it to work.
- To instill good sleep habits remember that consistency matters so much:
- Bath Time
- Goodnights
- Tuck and Talk Bedtime Story
- Lullabye (yours are best)
- Goodnights
This all sounds well and good, but it is a rare family that hasn’t had to handle some sleep trouble along the way. If your family is trying to re-establish a lapsed routine, stay calm and reassuring. We almost all need more sleep than we get, and it is a tremendous gift to our children to teach them how to sleep well.
Suggested Resource: American Academy of Pediatrics http://www.aap.org
Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®. Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years. He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
Tags: 28277, 5 Star Child Care Centers, 5 star Preschools in Charlotte, Back To School, Biting, boredom, Charlotte Preschools, Child Care Charlotte, Controlling Worrying in children, Fun in the Sun, Literacy, New School, Pacifier, Phonics, Role of Fathers, Sleeping, Staying Cool, Sun Protection, The Goddard School, Thumbsucking, Traveling Children
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Monday, August 16th, 2010
Parents can help make the “back to school” transition much smoother for their child if they prepare in advance. Try to add activities or planned outings to your child’s day. This structure helps prepare them to be on a schedule when they return to the classroom. If the child will be going to a new school, parents may want to schedule a visit with their child before the first day. Consider taking your child on a fun shopping trip where they can help pick out their clothes, lunchbox and supplies.
Ensuring your child has adequate sleep and proper nutrition is very important. Your child will do their best if they get to sleep early and eat a healthy breakfast each day before school. A daily diet of junk food is not compatible with learning. It can cause listlessness and hyperactivity which can impair a child’s ability to learn. Skipping breakfast especially is a detriment to a child’s education.
Adjust your child’s sleep schedule a few weeks in advance to help avoid struggling to get them out of bed for school. Set up a consistent daily routine so that your child wakes up and goes to sleep at the same times each day. If you have not created one already, start a bedtime routine, including bathing, selecting clothes for the next day, cuddling together for a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight. Begin a regular morning routine that includes a healthy breakfast, packing a nutritious lunch, grooming and getting dressed for the day.
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
Tags: 5 Star Child Care Centers, 5 star Preschools in Charlotte, Add new tag, Back To School, Child Care Ballantyne, Child Care Centers Ballantyne, Child Development, Choosing a Preschool, Fun in the Sun, Goddard School Ballantyne, Learning through Play, Literacy, New School, Phonics, Role of Fathers, Saving Money, Sleeping, The Goddard School, water Play, Worrying in Children
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Friday, August 13th, 2010
If you want your child to grow up to be a gardener, it’s important to remember to share gardening experiences with them throughout their childhood. These include frequent, pleasurable occurrences, designs that include messy, colorful plots and great memories of working together in the garden. Each child’s capabilities and attention span will vary so it’s important to adjust your expectations. The goal is to teach your children to respect and enjoy gardening as well as experience a feeling of “I did it myself” at harvest time.
The Composting Council of Canada developed the following good reasons to foster a lifelong love of gardening in children.
- Health: Growing your own vegetables makes it easier to get enough servings each day.
- Exercise: Digging, turning, spreading compost, mulching, hoeing, excavating rocks – all burn calories, help build muscles and strengthen hearts and lungs.
- Save Money: Even a small vegetable patch can reduce your expenses.
- Education: Gardening is terrific for providing hands-on lessons in botany, zoology, weather, hydrology, as well as cycles of life, death and physical decay.
- Waste Reduction and Recycling: Compost piles transform kitchen scraps, leaves and yard waste into rich soil amendments. Gardeners can reuse of all kinds of cans, cartoons, meat trays and more.
- Stress Relief: Planting seeds and tending plants can restore balance and perspective.
- Togetherness: Use vegetables grown together to make delicious meals together and donate abundance to people who need it.
- Helps Improve Reading and Math Skills: Children can make plant markers, read seed packets and even help pay for nursery plants.
- Memory Building: Provides great memories for the years to come.
- Satisfaction: The more time you spend with your children in the garden, the more they will feel the garden is truly theirs and the more eager they will be to take care of it.
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
Tags: 5 Star Child Care Centers, 5 star Preschools in Charlotte, Add new tag, Back To School, Biting, Charlotte Preschools, Child Care Ballantyne, Child Care Centers Ballantyne, Child Care Centers Charlotte, Child Care Centers in Ballantyne, Controlling Worrying in children, Goddard School, Literacy, Reading, Saving Money, Sleeping, The Goddard School, The Goddard Schoolol, water Play, Worrying in Children
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In Choosing a Preschool, Experts Recommend Child-Centered Play
With so much information about preschools available to parents, it can be difficult to choose the right program. One approach to evaluating a school that can help parents choose is the level of emphasis on learning through play. For young children, play is the natural way to learn, according to the experts.
In fact, research studies confirm that children who are allowed to play function better later in life, both socially and academically.
“Young children who learn through play are more ready to make their own decisions, advocate for themselves and use creativity to solve problems as they grow,” says Dr. Kyle Pruett, a Yale University child psychiatrist and consultant to the Goddard School, the fastest-growing franchise preschool program in the United States.
Dr. Pruett points out that play helps children learn to solve problems, promotes flexibility and motivation, teaches regulation of emotions and builds resilience and confidence. Play is also essential to the development of the child’s brain, triggering trillions of neural connections that form the basis of healthy cognitive function and mastery of the child’s physical world.
Playing alone and with others not only builds brain development, it also helps children develop social skills and a sense of ethics. The most effective play is free of evaluation and correction (after all, throwing a ball shouldn’t be “right” or “wrong”), while promoting autonomy.
“True play is actually hard work,” says Sue Adair, Senior Manager of Quality Assurance at Goddard Systems, Inc. “The child lost in play is exploring infinite possibilities. Caretakers and parents can assist the child’s growth by participating in play and creating an environment that encourages play as a means to meet new developmental challenges.”
So after parents have checked the basics that are required for any preschool, how can they find one with the right emphasis on play?
Adair suggests looking at three things:
- Find a school that puts a priority on learning through play. For young children, play is unstructured and freeing. It’s not about expensive toys, in fact, the simpler the toy, the more ways it can be used by a child developing his or her imagination. Toys and equipment should be carefully chosen, first for safety and then for how they stimulate young imaginations and help children develop.
- Look at the total environment. Environment means having clean, safe and spacious places to play, as well as the resources to provide imaginative, rewarding playtime. It also means a caring and well-trained staff, a critical element for any preschool. “Remember, how children are treated is as critical to their development as what they are taught,” says Dr. Pruett.
- Ask about enrichment programs. Only the best preschools offer special enrichment programs at no extra cost, as part of the tuition. Enrichment programs – including yoga, manners and world cultures, for example – develop the whole child by encouraging their innate curiosity and imagination.
“At the end of the day, parents know they’ve chosen the right child care program when their children are given time for child-centered exploratory play during the day,”
Adair says. “For a child, play isn’t optional. The educational and other benefits of play are so important – in terms of healthy bodies and minds – that parents should put play at the top of their list when comparing preschool programs.”
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
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Managing Parental Emotions of Childcare
by Dr. Kyle Pruett
Don’t pretend you’re fine when you’re not.
It’s much better to acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel grief at this change. You will come through sooner and better if you face your feelings head on.
Don’t believe you are a bad parent for choosing childcare.
If you have chosen a good center or caregiver, you can be confident that your child is in good hands, so there is no logical reason to feel guilty. But if you continue to feel guilty, it’s important to come to grips with these feelings. Be especially alert if you are tempted to change your parenting style. For example, some parents start easing up on setting limits to compensate for their guilt. Such behavior leads nowhere you or your child want to go.
Don’t become critical of your child’s caregiver.
It’s important to have a good relationship with caregivers. Their observations and advice can be extremely helpful to your parenting. If you find you feel critical even though the caregiver’s work doesn’t merit such an attitude, recognize that your feelings are a part of the separation process. Then begin to focus on the caregiver’s talents and good qualities. Rest assured that no caregiver will take your place in your child’s life or heart. The new attachments to other warm and loving caregivers are beneficial. They also are good signs of your child’s emotional maturity and your achievement in nurturing that maturity.
Don’t underestimate the importance of the transition to childcare.
If you pretend the new routine doesn’t matter, you may underestimate the good things that can come from this new experience for your child and you – new friends, new learning, new sources of information and new ideas on parenting.
To learn more about The Goddard School please click here.
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Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
STAY-CATIONS: Back-to-Basics Family Fun!
Stay-cations may not only provide a more frugal family vacation, they may also provide an opportunity to create and experience a higher level of bonding with your children.
Upsides to stay-cations include nominal packing as well as minimal airplane or car ride entertainment. Stay-cations, however, provide the challenge of getting into vacation mode when the remnants of your day-to-day life are all around – planning ahead is the key.
Fun, frugal stay-cations include:
- Go on nature walks, hikes and bike rides. Collect rocks to paint.
- Organize day trips to zoos and/or museums. Create a family scrapbook to commemorate your experiences.
- Choose a miniature golf outing and enjoy a little healthy competition.
- Plan a family mini-spa day. Prepare a healthy lunch from your vegetable garden.
- Go camping in your own backyard. Don’t forget flashlight tag and S’mores!
- Plan and prepare yummy goodies and enjoy a picnic together in a local park.
- Rainy day stay-cations are fun too!
- Play board games
- Assemble jigsaw puzzles
- Watch family movies
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
Tags: 5 Star Child Care Centers, 5 star Preschools in Charlotte, 5-star Preschools, Add new tag, Back To School, Charlotte Preschools, Child Care Ballantyne, Child Care Centers Ballantyne, Child Care Centers Charlotte, Child Care Centers in Ballantyne, Child Care Centers in Charlotte, Controlling Worrying in children, Goddard School, Learning through Play, New School, Phonics, Role of Fathers, The Goddard School, The Goddard School-Ballantyne, Worrying in Children
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Find ways to involve your children in the richness of your ‘grown-up’ life. Be creative and patient because the results are worth your effort!
For young children, play is a lot more than entertainment. It is central to their development. A wonderful way to play with and teach children is to bring them into your world, where ‘real-life’ happens. Children love to do ‘grown-up’ things and to imitate you. And when they contribute, they see themselves as players and get a well-earned self-esteem boost!
Children also learn about important values and concepts from watching you. They see the result of practice and perseverance, and they come to know that learning is a lifelong process. They see that everyone, even a grown-up, can make mistakes and can learn from them.
There are two easy and enjoyable ways for your children to play in the grown-up world: you can let them help with your chores and you can include them in your favorite pastimes.
Work as play: Include your children in your household routine. There are countless safe ways for children to help with meals, laundry, shopping or cleaning. They can help mix recipe ingredients, pick fruit at the grocery store, water the garden or pack their lunch. These activities are fun learning experiences, especially if you are teaching informally along the way. The chores may take a little longer as they learn the ropes, make mistakes, and work at a snail’s pace, but the value for their learning and their self-regard are more than worth the extra time.
Hobbies and pastimes: Share your interests with your children. This is one of the most intriguing, emotionally rich forms of learning that children can receive. Teach your children about your avocations, and keep up with your piano, chess, painting, hiking or gardening. Your enthusiasm for your hobbies will be infectious and offer many ways for your children to learn and develop skills.
Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., is an advisor for The Goddard School®. Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years. He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.
To learn more about The Goddard School, click here.
Tags: 28277, 5 Star Child Care Centers, 5 star Preschools in Charlotte, Add new tag, Biting, boredom, Charlotte Preschools, Child Care Centers Charlotte, Child Care Centers in Ballantyne, Child Care Charlotte, Choosing a Preschool, Controlling Worrying in children, Fun in the Sun, Goddard School, Learning through Play, Pacifier, Role of Fathers, The Goddard School
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