My husband and I are concerned for our 2-year old child. He goes in and out of biting stages especially when he is in a new place (for example transitioning from one class to the next). He is still learning how to communicate his words and I am sure that is a big part in him biting. We have spoken with his doctors and they all say it’s a normal part of childhood and there should be nothing to worry about.
Could you please help find out what is the Goddard’s Parent Guide from Dr. Pruett on biting? We have tried time outs, we have tried talking to him and many other things as well.
Many thanks for the help,
Sema
Dear Sema,
I continually receive questions about biting from parents. Not only does biting hurt, but it can also be a frightening part of a child’s development.
Some initial thoughts:
- Determine what may be triggering the behavior and then try to change the environment. For example, if your child bites to get a favorite toy from another child, then add similar items to their playtime to lessen the opportunity for the bite. Also, if the unwanted behavior occurs at the same time everyday…is the child hungry? Tired? Do you need to adjust eating and sleeping times?
- You are right on the mark about his behavior stemming from his inability to express his frustrations. We recommend using some basic sign language to help the child communicate until he is able to do so verbally.
- Shadow the child. Try to stop the biting before it happens. If you see the child attempting to bite, redirect him to another activity. Busy, busy, busy is the key with toddlers!
- Is the behavior driven by a desire for attention? How an adult reacts to the bite can make or break the habit. For example, if a parent gives 100% of his/her attention to the biting child, then the child may be getting what he wants (it may be negative attention, but it’s still attention). Focusing immediately on the child who was bitten, and then later returning to the “biter,” lessens the attention.
Here are some additional thoughts, from Goddard’s Parent Guide, Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., advisor for The Goddard School.
- Biting often begins as exploration, but may be quickly be associated with out-of-control feelings or feelings of being overwhelmed – with excitement, fear or curiosity. Parents should manage these feelings by staying as calm as possible and firmly saying:
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- “No one likes biting, especially me.”
- “You just cannot bite.”
- “I’ll help you stop until you stop yourself.”
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- Parents often fear biting at school most. Peers, especially close ones, are fascinated by each other’s aggression, and the dramatic reactions it evokes. Adult overreaction just makes things more exciting!
I hope that these suggestions prove helpful for your situation.
Best,
Sue Adair
Director of Education, Goddard Systems, Inc.
*Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®. Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years. He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.
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