Hello Sue,
My five-year-old daughter cannot seem to keep her hands and feet to herself and I am getting reports from her teachers that it is becoming a problem at school. She is not doing it meanly (she’s not hitting or kicking), just trying to tickle, hug on, and poke at other kids. We have had consequences at home (both negative and positive reinforcement) and when we talk with her about the behavior she has the right answers and knows it is unacceptable. How then do I go about getting her to keep her hands to herself?
Many thanks for the help,
Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
This is a typical developmental stage as children learn about personal space and interacting with peers.
I recommend requesting a formal meeting with the school, to start. See if the teachers are seeing the behavior at certain times of the day, and if so, is there a way to change the environment to stop the behavior. For example, does it happen at the table during snack time, is it the same child that she is touching–if so, consider separating them for a bit.
During this meeting, talk to the teachers about consequences for the unwanted behavior. It is important to come up with a consequence that is consistent between home and school. So if the child exhibits the behavior at home, the outcome is the same.
Try this, along with positive reinforcement when appropriate behavior is observed.
Best,
Sue Adair
Director of Education, Goddard Systems, Inc.
