I’m the mother of two daughters, ages seven and eight and a half, who fight constantly. My husband and I differ about how to find out who is wrong and who should be punished. Help!
One of the most frustrating and least useful things to do when children are fighting is to attempt to dispense justice. Typically, older children hit harder and younger children scream louder. Older ones are more clever and devious; young ones cry foul sooner than is necessary. Boys threaten, while girls provoke more often. Trying to decide who is wrong when you weren’t there tempts children to distort the evidence. So try to catch your children being good and make a big deal out of it. Real physical or emotional abuse is pretty rare in well-functioning families but needs to be dealt with by giving children a cooling-off period – then reviewing the family rules.
As I look back on my experiences as a father across a few decades, it is evident that the role of fathers and expectations in society has significantly changed. More men today are physically and emotionally engaged with their children than before the industrial revolution, especially the younger ones. Co-parenting is the expectation among most newly marrying couples; the women want the help, and the men want to be closer to their kids than they were to their fathers. With support from women and society, increasingly active fathering is crossing many social and economic barriers.
An effective fitness program includes activities that promote physical activity in ways that are creative and fun, is clear and easy to implement, incorporates fun materials, includes opportunities to enhance personal and social skills, and integrates into other life experiences.