Archive for the ‘Ask the Expert’ Category

by Dr. Michele Borba
Reality Check: Blogging About Parenting Issues and the Solutions to Solve Them
Posted on May 14, 2010

Over 2.3 million American kids under five are cared for at day care centers. If you’re like most parents, I’m sure you’ve pondered the age-old question: “What impact does child care have on my child? Now there’s an answer.

A federally funded study by the Early Child Care Research Network just released results that will have parents and educators alike on alert.

I shared those results with Ann Curry this morning on the TODAY show. Here are key discoveries from this fascinating research:

Since 1991 researchers have been tracking over 1364 families. Children in the study were randomly selected at birth (all born within 24 hours of each other) from 10 different American locations and have been followed since one month of age. Upper, middle, and lower income families were represented. Investigators examined how differences among families, children and child care arrangements might be correlated to their health as well as intellectual, social and emotional development.  The children were evaluated periodically, most recently at age 15, with a host of measures. The study is significant because it is first to track children representing all demographics and incomes a full decade after they left child care.

Key Findings Parents and Educators Should Know

  • As the researchers point out, “Parents have far more influence on children’s growth and development than any type child care they receive.”
  • Academic and behavior gains from child care that endured until age 15 were slightly higher when children were involved with “high quality child caregivers.” High quality is defined as caregivers who warm, supportive and provide high quality cognitive stimulation.
  • Teens who were in high-quality child care settings before age 5 scored higher on measures of academic and cognitive achievement.
  • Specific academic areas (in order) that showed the highest gains at age 15: Reading, Vocabulary, Verbal Analogies, and Math.
  • Teen also reported fewer acting-out behaviors than peers who were in lower-quality child care arrangements during their early years.
  • Teens who spent more hours in child care in their first 4½ years of life reported a greater tendency toward impulsiveness and risk-taking behaviors (taking drugs, smoking, and alcohol) at age 15 than did peers who spent less time in child care.
  • More than a decade after parents stopped those day care payments the behavior differences were still evident.
  • Though differences in these measures among the youth were deemed small, researchers still considered them significant since the gains latest until age 15. Translation: high quality care giving in the early years affects children’s social, academic, and behavioral development in the teen years.

For parenting strategies and 101 other issues refer to my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. You can also follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba and subscribe to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check on my website, MicheleBorba.

Ask the Expert: Bullying

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

My husband and I are concerned for our 5-year-old child. He was picked on by a couple of classmates last year. Now he’s starting kindergarten and is in the same class as some of the kids who picked on him the previous year. We would like him to learn early to stand up for himself. What steps should we be taking both at home and school so that our son doesn’t fall victim to bullies?

Thanks for your help

Joan

Dear Joan,

Bullying is a common experience for many children and adolescents. When your child is the victim of bullying it’s best to make sure the lines of communication are open, no matter how old the children are.

Parents and teachers are sometimes reluctant to intervene in conflicts between young children. They don’t want to see children harm or ridicule one another, but they want to encourage children to learn how to work out problems for themselves.

Some suggestions from NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) on how to teach children assertive skills:

  • Demonstrate assertive behavior (e.g., saying “No” to another child’s unacceptable demands) and contrast aggressive or submissive responses through demonstrations. Let children role-play with puppets or dolls.
  • Teach children to seek help when confronted by the abuse of power (physical abuse, sexual abuse, or other) by children or adults.
  • Remind children to ignore routine teasing by turning their heads or walking away. Not all provocative behavior must be acknowledged.
  • Teach children to ask for things directly and respond directly to each other. Friendly suggestions are taken more readily than bossy demands. Teach children to ask nicely, and to respond appropriately to polite requests.
  • Show children how to tell bullies to stop hurtful acts and to stand up for themselves when they are being treated unfairly.
  • Encourage children not to give up objects or territory to bullies (e.g., say, “I’m using this toy now”). Preventing bullies from getting what they want will discourage aggressive behavior.
  • Show children the rewards of personal achievement through standing up for themselves, rather than depending on the approval of others solely.

The key to promoting positive interactions among young children is teaching them to assert themselves effectively. Children who express their feelings and needs while respecting those of others will be neither victims nor aggressors. I hope these suggestions are a good starting point for you and your husband.

Best,

Sue Adair,

Director of Education, Goddard Systems Inc.

If you have a question for “Ask the Expert” send an email to  AskGoddardSchool@goddardsystems.com.

Ask the Expert: All About Biting

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

My husband and I are concerned for our 2-year old child.  He goes in and out of biting stages especially when he is in a new place (for example transitioning from one class to the next).  He is still learning how to communicate his words and I am sure that is a big part in him biting.  We have spoken with his doctors and they all say it’s a normal part of childhood and there should be nothing to worry about.

Could you please help find out what is the Goddard’s Parent Guide from Dr. Pruett on biting?  We have tried time outs, we have tried talking to him and many other things as well.

Many thanks for the help,

Sema

Dear Sema,

I continually receive questions about biting from parents. Not only does biting hurt, but it can also be a frightening part of a child’s development.

Some initial thoughts:

  • Determine what may be triggering the behavior and then try to change the environment.  For example, if your child bites to get a favorite toy from another child, then add similar items to their playtime to lessen the opportunity for the bite.  Also, if the unwanted behavior occurs at the same time everyday…is the child hungry?  Tired?  Do you need to adjust eating and sleeping times?
  • You are right on the mark about his behavior stemming from his inability to express his frustrations.  We recommend using some basic sign language to help the child communicate until he is able to do so verbally.
  • Shadow the child.  Try to stop the biting before it happens.  If you see the child attempting to bite, redirect him to another activity.  Busy, busy, busy is the key with toddlers!
  • Is the behavior driven by a desire for attention?  How an adult reacts to the bite can make or break the habit.  For example, if a parent gives 100% of his/her attention to the biting child, then the child may be getting what he wants (it may be negative attention, but it’s still attention).  Focusing immediately on the child who was bitten, and then later returning to the “biter,” lessens the attention.

Here are some additional thoughts, from Goddard’s Parent Guide, Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., advisor for The Goddard School.

  • Biting often begins as exploration, but may be quickly be associated with out-of-control feelings or feelings of being overwhelmed – with excitement, fear or curiosity.  Parents should manage these feelings by staying as calm as possible and firmly saying:
      • “No one likes biting, especially me.”
      • “You just cannot bite.”
      • “I’ll help you stop until you stop yourself.”
  • Parents often fear biting at school most. Peers, especially close ones, are fascinated by each other’s aggression, and the dramatic reactions it evokes. Adult overreaction just makes things more exciting!

I hope that these suggestions prove helpful for your situation.

Best,

Sue Adair

Director of Education, Goddard Systems, Inc.

*Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. is an advisor for The Goddard School®. Dr. Pruett is an authority on child development who has been practicing child and family psychiatry for over twenty-five years.  He is a clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale University’s Child Study Center.

If you have a question for “Ask the Expert” send an email to  AskGoddardSchool@goddardsystems.com.