Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Making Time for Small Talk

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

Just Talk
The most important thing you can do to encourage language and communication is talk to your child. From infant, to toddler, to preschooler and on up through the years, share what you are doing, seeing and feeling. Small talk is a great way to maximize language growth. Always use tone and emphasis, and be sure to respond to your child’s attempts at sounds, words, sentences and conversation.

In Your Daily Travels
Whether at the market, bank or park, talk about what you see and hear along your way. Be descriptive. Chat about characteristics in terms of color, shape, size, what things do or sound like, how they taste, how they feel, how they smell. You’ll be surprised at what your children will absorb—and will share with you some day!

Keep It Simple
Discuss your child’s environment and focus on what is important to them. Every conversation counts. Your daily routine can be full of new words, experiences and feelings for your child. While reading a book together, running errands, making dinner or visiting a relative, ask your child many questions: What are you doing? How does that feel? Why/how does that happen? What happens next?

The Ultimate Reward
As they develop, your child will gain valuable conversation, language and social skills. As a result, the bonds and connections you will form with your child, through even the simplest of coos or the most complex of conversations, are absolutely priceless!

Positive Alternatives to “No”

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Children should begin to learn to respect limits from a young age. Most boundaries for children are set for health and safety reasons and are a very important and necessary developmental tool. Children are corrected every day, which can lead them to simply “tune out” any perceived negativity or become uncooperative. Regardless of their age, most people respond better to positively communicated direction. This is especially true for children. For example, “Grandma is worried about us getting stains on her couch. Let’s enjoy our snack in her kitchen instead,” will generate more cooperation than “No food or drinks in Grandma’s living room.”

Try telling your child what they can do instead of what they can’t. Practice the positive alternatives below to avoid overusing the word “no” while maintaining reasonable limits.

  • “Maybe later” can work to delay a request such as snacks or sweets before mealtime.
  • “Not today” communicates that the timing is wrong but leaves the possibility open.
  • “When we’ve done (this), then we can do (that).” This method is good for transition times and to help toddlers establish event routines. For example, “When all of your toys are put away, we can go play at the park.”
  • “I’ll think about it” replaces an automatic “no” by allowing yourself the time to think about your determination. Parents tend to make better decisions when they take the time to think about the request and their response.
  • “Sure, did you bring your allowance?” This technique allows you to communicate that they may have the requested item if they can pay for it themselves.
  • “Yes (with qualifier).” This strategy grants conditional permission. For example, “Yes, you may play the game after we eat dinner.”

Though we’ve heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day—especially for children—it is often a casualty of morning mayhem. Start your child’s day off with a nutritious and energy-boosting breakfast. Children (grown-ups too!) who consistently eat balanced breakfasts have more energy, better diets, perform better and are less likely to be anxious or irritable. We’re busy with our daily routines and sometimes it seems difficult to find healthy foods that children enjoy. Serving up a balanced breakfast is actually easier than it seems!

Trying these nutritious breakfast tips and easy ideas can help make mornings cheerier, keep tummies fuller and help provide lots of energy.

  • Cutting foods into fun shapes with seasonal, animal or other cookie cutters is a quick way to turn a boring breakfast into a tummy pleaser.
  • Turn an ordinary bowl of whole grain cereal with milk into something more exciting by topping with sliced star fruit, pomegranate seeds or other unexpected bright fruit.
  • Scramble egg whites with low-fat cheese and diced, colorful veggies. Add tomatoes for eyes, a baby carrot for a nose, a slice of turkey bacon for the mouth—even broccoli for hair!
  • Whip up a mixed fruit smoothie using crushed ice, yogurt, fresh or canned fruit and add brightly colored frozen juice concentrate. Garnish with an orange wedge. This can be made the night before to save time in the morning.
  • Toast a whole grain toaster waffle, top with low-fat berry cream cheese. Create a flower or other fun design on top using sliced strawberries and peaches.
  • Spread peanut butter in a whole wheat tortilla. Add raisins and banana slices, roll up tightly and slice to create yummy pinwheels.
  • Serve up a ‘breakfast sundae’ by layering low-fat yogurt with fresh fruit and crunchy granola cereal in a fun, see-through container. Top with a cherry or grape and use colored cereal bits for “sprinkles.”

Create a ‘breakfast pizza’ using a whole wheat English muffin. Spread the English muffin with low-fat flavored cream cheese and top with diced fruits or veggies.

The Importance of Nap Time

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Your toddler shows all the signs that he is exhausted and in dire need of a good old-fashioned nap.  He is yawning, whining, rubbing his heavy eyelids and twirling his hair—but, at the mere mention of a nap, he just may melt down. The explanation is truly a simple one: Toddlers do not want to miss out on even one moment of adventure, as they are beginning to understand that they can assert their own independence as often as they like to manipulate the world around them.

The solution is not necessarily as straightforward. Here are a few tips for a more successful nap (or at least quiet) time:

  • Plan a quieter activity before nap time begins to allow for a winding down period.
  • Make the transition to nap time consistent each day: potty time, read a book, cuddle up with a lovey or special blanket.
  • Never make nap time a punishment.
  • Provide a restful place for nap time. (Consider: darkening blinds, heavy curtains, calming music, a fan or white noise machine)
  • Make sure naps are in his bed or crib. This will help him associate his own bed with sleep.
  • If he absolutely refuses to nap, leave him with some toys and books and tell him it’s quiet time.
  • Give him a hug and a kiss, tuck him in and leave the room.

Remember, sleep is very important for a growing child. If your child repeatedly gets up after you have tucked him in, calmly take his hand and return him to his bed. Walk him back to bed each time, and he will soon realize that you are serious. If he still seems to have difficulty napping, let him know it’s ok to stay awake, but he needs to use this time as “quiet time.” Be calm—but firm—about this resting period. Children (and parents, too!) need rest, even if they are not sleeping.

Survival Tips for Returning to Work

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

It’s the moment of truth. You are getting ready to go back to work. Maybe your maternity/paternity leave has come to an end or you took time off from your career to be a stay-at-home parent. In these economic times, you may have even been home due to unexpected circumstances. No matter the reason, juggling parenthood while reentering the workforce can be quite the challenge– just getting out the door in the morning can be a logistical nightmare! Here are some survival tips for the savvy parent.

Before You Go Back

A week before you go back to work, wake up at the new time and practice getting everybody ready. Do you need to get yourself ready before the rest of your household wakes? How long do you need? What can your children do while you are getting yourself ready? Will they play in a pack-n-play, feed themselves cereal, take care of their own potty needs or have cuddle time with your spouse? Make it a team effort and brainstorm with your spouse. Get specific about who will pack lunches, feed the children, pour the milk, give the vitamins, etc. Decide whether you will take turns or divvy up the responsibilities. Make sure you each have time to take care of your own needs, too. Hashing all of this out upfront and writing up a schedule will help you to figure out realistically how long it actually takes to get everybody ready in the morning, and then work your timeline backwards from when you’re due at work. Changing diapers, potty time, breakfast, getting dressed and tooth brushing may take a lot longer than you think! And be sure to leave plenty of extra time for traffic or the occasional extra-long good-bye with your child.

Start the Night Before

Pack up everything you and your child need for the next day before you go to bed: diaper bag, lunches, laptop bag, permission slips and bottles. Have the coffeemaker set to have that much needed java brewed and ready. If you weren’t a list maker before you had children, there is no better time than now to start! Jot down even the smallest of details and necessities that need to be packed or prepared. Sticky notes are a working parent’s best friend. Put a small bin in the fridge for each member of your family who packs breakfast, lunch or bottles and label with names.  Fill each bin with all lunch box items so in the morning you can just transfer the contents of each into a thermal bag with ice packs, etc. If something can’t be pre-packed, jot down a note and stick it in the bin so you know at a glance what is missing in the morning mayhem. Choose outfits the night before—if you are super savvy, you might even check the weather and select your children’s outfits for the whole week!

Back to the Grind

You may be shocked at how busy you will be when you go back to work. Plan time before or after work to spend with your children so you don’t feel like you are missing the details. Ease up on the idea of keeping the house clean 24/7. Your children won’t remember if the house was always sparkling clean or not, but they will remember the quality of the time they spent with you. Maximize your lunch breaks: go on a quick walk to boost your energy levels and be sure to pack healthful snacks. You may find it energizing to be back at work—you may be filled with new ideas, and be excited to spend your day with grown-ups! Don’t feel bad about leaving the office as soon as your workday officially ends–parenthood has taught you to be decidedly efficient, and to get more accomplished in less time. And, be sure to get as much sleep as possible–no matter how prepared and organized you are, going back to work and still maintaining a productive household can be exhausting!

You Deserve a Reward!

After all of the planning, organizing and hard work it takes to go back to the grind while also creating a happy and healthy work-life balance, treat yourself! Plan that rewarding lunchtime mani/pedi, a happy hour with your BFF or schedule some Saturday morning cuddle time with the little ones. You deserve it, and it will help reenergize you so you can do it all again next week.

Children Can Vote Too

Monday, November 1st, 2010

The Importance of Voting

Voting is one of the greatest privileges given to American citizens. American democracy depends on the participation of all its citizens to elect its officials. Speak out, take action, vote and involve yourself in the political system. Teach your children the values of democracy so they too will become responsible participants in the electoral process. As the election rapidly approaches, teach your children the values of the democratic system. Discuss the U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights and the basic principals of justice, freedom, equality, diversity, privacy, tolerance, patriotism, civic responsibility and respect. No matter how young your children are, it is never too early to talk to them about the basic principals of being an American and the responsibility that comes with being a U.S. citizen. Discuss the candidates and the issues each nominee stands for in front of your children. Plant a seed of curiosity and interest as early as you can.

Involving Children

It is important to get your children involved in voting as early as you can. Draw parallels between family decisions and national elections. Allow your children to vote on what to have for dinner, snack, TV and radio selections or the allocation of chores. Allowing children to vote at an early age provides opportunities for critical thinking, analysis and debate. Invoke critical thinking and ask your children “What would you do if you were President? What rules would you make up? What problems do you want to solve?” This will allow your children to explore areas of democracy, society and basic human rights in a way they understand. Hold a pretend house helper election: Cookie Monster verses the Count. Help your children create slogans, posters and different ideologies for each candidate. Determine the pros and cons of each candidate with your children to invoke analysis. Discuss which candidate would be the most helpful and elicit debate among your family. Create a ballot box with your children and vote for the house helper.

Election Day

Give your children their first taste of democracy and take them with you to vote. No matter how young your children are, it is important to familiarize them with the process. Explain on the ride to the polling place that voting is a civic act that is extremely important to many people. Millions of people go to great lengths to vote; leaving their homes and places of work, despite the weather or other obstacles, to have their voices heard. When you arrive at the polling place, do not just put in your card, press a button and leave. Explain the process and its importance. Discuss what it means to you. If the voting area allows, take your children into the booth with you, where you can read and explain the ballot process to them. This can be an exciting new process for your children; let them put the ballot through the machine, punch the holes or simply hand it in. Celebrate your child’s civic participation and let them proudly wear the “I Voted” sticker. Treat election day as a great learning opportunity for you and your family. Discuss, participate, vote and celebrate. Happy voting!

VOTING ACTIVITIES

Introduce the concept of voting with age-appropriate activities:

Infant to One Year

✔ Select a favorite toy

First Steps (12 to 18 months)

✔ Learn party symbols of Donkey and Elephant

✔ Select a story to read

Toddler and Get Set (18 to 36 months)

✔ Vote on a game to play

✔ Vote for a favorite color

✔ Vote for a favorite food

✔ Select a food to eat

Preschool to Pre-K (36 months +)

✔ Conduct a mock election

✔ Identify Presidential candidates

Gather Around Our Table

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

For most parents, getting the family to the dinner table—and keeping them there—takes some creativity. Here are a few secrets to help your little ones (and bigger ones) stay put, eat something other than mac-n-cheese and even look forward to family meals together.

Cut yourself some slack. The goal is to keep your family mealtime a positive, happy experience. Think about lowering your expectations for what a “sit-down” meal with little ones and bigger ones means. Real life can be hectic—balancing work, soccer, piano lessons, play dates—and getting the whole family to the table at the same time can be so challenging that many families just give up. Most of us believe that family dinner is important—we simply lack the patience, energy or tools to pull it off. And then we feel guilty.

Why not make dinnertime fun instead of a chore? Include an unexpected ingredient such as purple carrots or star fruit, serve the kids’ juice in fancy glasses—or enjoy pancakes, eggs and OJ instead of your usual dinner fare. Have a picnic: pack up a basket, spread out a blanket on the living room floor, move a couple potted plants over and enjoy dinner in “the park.” Is your fridge full of leftovers? Dish them up, put out some soft taco shells and let your family enjoy making their own “wacky wrap” creations.

Make it a group effort and give everyone a responsibility. Your spouse could get the salad together while your daughter sets the table. Let your youngest supervise from his booster seat while your son takes the drink orders. Your 10-year-old can feed the baby while you get the rest of dinner on the table. This is the perfect opportunity to provide your children with a valuable sense of involvement. Ask your family for their own ideas and allow them to choose the side dishes for the week. Remember that while some of their requests may be a bit off the wall, they are (generally) doable.

Start a tradition of “Family Happy Hour.” Before you start preparing dinner, serve healthy appetizers such as chopped veggies with hummus or baked whole grain tortilla chips with mango salsa while listening to a fun playlist. These healthy options take the edge off their hunger, and you may find your children happier and more willing to try new foods when you do sit down together.

Dinner is not your only option. Sometimes the demands of real life can get in the way of this important commitment—so, we need to be flexible. Family mealtime is about connecting with your family—if dinner is impossible, why not connect over lunch or a snack? And, take advantage of some shortcut ideas. On the weekend, why not prepare a few meals in advance so that everything is ready to be heated when you get home from a long day at work? Learn to make some compromises—crock pots can be wonderful, and not every meal needs to be Coq au vin!

Family dinner is a good idea. “Mealtime is often the only time in the whole day when everybody’s in the same room having a conversation,” says William Doherty, Ph.D., author of The Intentional Family (Addison Wesley Longman, 1997), “so it’s where the family’s culture gets created.” Family dinner helps demonstrate to our children that they are important enough for us to spend this valuable time with. And we often hear experts say that consistent family mealtime improves nutrition, table manners, communication skills, family relationships and bonding.

The thing about being the all-knowing parent is that there are two sides to that coin. And when a serious loss or death occurs in our children’s lives, those same point-blank questions they ask about babies/poop/lightening will come about death and dying.

What makes such questions so tough?

  • The meaning of death may still elude us personally.
  • The one certain thing in life seems to defy the certain answer.
  • If this particular loss is an emotionally hard issue for us, we will not be inclined to talk about something that upsets us – especially with our little ones and their unerring radar for our soft spots.

Death is a part of every life and even young children are aware of it. Road kill, dead bugs, fairy tale drama and screen time – all conspire to make it a daily event. But as a topic of conversation, few adults leap at the opportunity. And we should. Unemotional, scientific talk about death when it just shows up, helps to inoculate them and us for those more painful intrusions when something or someone beloved dies. Suggestions:

  • Reflect on your own questions about death with a trusted adult or partner so that the words don’t get so stuck in your throat or you mind. If there is a religious component to your understanding and that is part of what you want to convey to your children, be plain and clear. White lies have a way of not ringing true and can actually cause more uneasiness than they relieve. “I don’t have an answer to that question” is also better and less confusing than euphemisms about ‘eternal rest’ or ‘gone away.’
  • Break it down developmentally. The very young have a hard time taking death seriously –given how it’s depicted on screen – and tend to see it as short-lived and reversible. The slightly olders are beginning to get the hang of it as something more serious and complex, even ubiquitous, but it’s still hard for them to take it personally, or that it’s permanent/forever.
  • The talk: keep it simple, short and scientific. Since the young mind is so concrete, best to talk about death as a change in function; when [the dog/grandma] dies, they stop breathing, their eyes can’t see anymore, they don’t think or talk/bark, can’t feel anything either. Then let them go back to playing. They will be back. That is when it is good to check in with them about what they understood.
  • The ‘will you die’ question is usually asked by a child so young, she has no ability to comprehend that death is permanent. Consequently, try to get to the real point – which is usually about reassurance; ‘Are you worried that I won’t be able to take care of you?’ If so, then you can reassure and inform; ‘I won’t die for a very, very long time, so I’ll be here as long as you need me.’ An older child might press harder, and if so-‘If I did die, there are lots of people to take care of you, like Aunt Dot and Uncle Tom, or Grampa and Gramma.’

Ask The Expert: Second Languages

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

What are your thoughts regarding the role that learning a second language has in child development and raising multilingual children?

Research on dual language acquisition (DLA) shows that given the opportunity, very young children can and will learn two or more languages at the same time.

An effective learning environment for the young dual language learner is one in which strategies are in place to intentionally and continuously support bilingualism.  Parents can do the following:

• engage young children in conversation during daily routines, for example, during mealtime or before naptime using the second language;

• read with children, using common words, poems, songs, and stories in the second language;

• label objects verbally using the second language;

• introduce the sounds of the alphabet letters to the dual language learner in both English and the second language;

• venture out and explore environments where the second language is spoken.

Young children can become increasingly fluent in a second language if they have opportunities to speak it with a variety of individuals, on a variety of topics.

For young children, the language of the home is the language they have used since birth, the language they use to make and establish meaningful communicative relationships, and the language they use to begin to construct their knowledge and test their learning. The home language is tied to children’s culture, and culture and language communicate traditions, values, and attitudes.  When introducing a second language, parents will need to have command and comfort of that language in order for children to become fluent.

Child Proofing Your Home

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Blocks - Infant GirlAs a parent, you probably never stop worrying about your child. Is he or she happy? Healthy? Safe? While you can’t control everything, there are steps that you can take in your home to help improve your child’s safety and well-being.

Childproofing your home can be an overwhelming task. The most effective way to start is to evaluate your home, room by room, from your child’s perspective. If your child is crawling, get down on your hands and knees. Is your child toddling or walking? Get down to his or her level and check out the view. If you were crawling, toddling or walking where would you go? What looks tempting or interesting? What is within reach? Where could you climb? While not all accidents can be avoided, below are some general childproofing tips to help you get started. Remember to evaluate every area in your home for potential dangers.

Also keep in mind that childproofing is an ongoing process. As your child grows and develops (e.g., crawling, toddling, walking), you will need to reevaluate your childproofing efforts upon each milestone.

Furniture & Appliances

  • Secure heavy furniture and appliances to walls wherever possible.
  • Store heavy items on the bottoms of furniture such as bookshelves and cabinets so they are not top heavy.
  • Keep furniture and/or office drawers closed when not in use – climbing children tend to use these as ladders.
  • Make sure heavy appliances, such as televisions and computers, are pushed back from the edges of furniture – bolt them to the wall if possible.
  • Cover pointed edges of furniture with guards or bumpers
  • In the kitchen, use a stove guard to prevent your child from touching the burners or pulling at hot pots.
  • Use plastic covers if the stove’s knobs are within your child’s reach.
  • Always lock your oven or invest in a lock to prevent your child from opening the oven door.

Doors & Windows

  • Keep windows and doors closed and locked when not in use.
  • Use door knob covers. Be sure that these covers are sturdy enough not to break, but also allow doors to open quickly by and adult in case of emergency.
  • Use door stops or door holders on doors and hinges to keep little fingers safe.
  • Place marks or stickers on glass and sliding doors to make them visible.
  • Keep furniture away from windows.
  • If you have double hung windows, open them from the top.
  • Never open low windows more than four inches.
  • Use window stops, to prevent windows from opening more than four inches.

Blinds, Curtains & Draperies

  • Keep your child’s crib or bed away from blinds, curtains or draperies.
  • Keep blind, curtain and drapery pull cords out of your child’s reach.
    • Cut or remove pull cords.
    • Replace pull cords with safety tassels.
    • Use inner cord stops.
  • Make sure that older blinds and drapery cords have tie-down devices to hold the cords tight.
  • When purchasing new window coverings ask for those with child safety features.

Bathroom

  • Keep the toilet seat down when not in use.
  • Install a toilet lid lock to prevent your child from lifting the lid.
  • Always unplug appliances such as curling irons and hair dryers, after each use (and never keep anything plugged‑in near water).
  • Keep all medications and vitamins in a locked cabinet.
  • Keep razors, scissors, tweezers and other sharp bathroom objects in a high or locked cabinet.
  • Set your water heater temperature to 120 degrees or lower to help prevent burns from hot water.
  • Install anti-scald devices on faucets and showerheads.
  • Use a non-slip mat in the bathtub and on the floor next to the bathtub to prevent slips.

Cabinets, Closets & Drawers

  • Secure cabinets, closets and/or drawers with locks or child-proof latches.
  • Store sharp, potentially harmful objects and dangerous products in high cabinets, out of your child’s reach.

Stairways & Other Areas

  • At the top and bottom of stairs, use safety gates that screw in place; they are more secure than those that stay in place with pressure.
  • Use safety gates that children cannot dislodge, but that you can easily open and close so you will be less likely to leave them open.
  • Use safety gates to prevent your child’s curious exploration into dangerous areas around your home such as the kitchen, bathroom, pool and hot tub.

Electrical Outlets

  • Cover or replace all electrical outlets.
    • Plastic Outlet Protectors –These devices fit directly into the outlet holes to prevent the insertion of foreign objects. If using these protectors; make sure they are large enough not to be a choking hazard.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Covers – These outlets look just like regular outlets, but use a plastic shutter to prevent the insertion of foreign objects.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Face Covers – These receptacle covers have plates that slide over the outlet holes when not in use. Some require replacing the entire outlet cover, others install over the existing outlet face cover.
  • Use a power strip safety cover on all in-use power strips.

Sources: www.cpsc.gov, www.babycenter.com, www.kidshealth.org