Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

Sleeping Through the Night

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

A good night’s sleep is essential for both you and your baby.  The sooner your little one is sleeping well through the night, the sooner you can return to a beneficial sleep routine as well.

Newborns tend to wake frequently during the night until they reach about three months of age.  This is when most babies begin to sleep for longer periods of time and develop a regular sleep pattern.  By six months of age, most babies are able to sleep through the night, which can be anywhere from five hours on.

To help your baby reach the “sleeping through the night” goal, be sure to establish consistent bedtime and naptimes.  Also, develop a bedtime routine that will be repeated in the same order, at the same time each night.  Consistency is the key in helping your baby develop a healthy sleep pattern.  Find appropriate activities for your baby’s bedtime routine that will help her become calm and relaxed. If a certain activity, such as bathing, seems to be too stimulating, consider moving that activity to another time of day.

It’s also okay to wake your baby in the morning or rouse her from a nap if she is sleeping longer than you would like.  This will help her establish a healthy sleep schedule and to wake at the same time each day.

Putting your baby down to sleep when she shows signs of drowsiness, but is not yet asleep, will help her learn to fall asleep independently.  This is advantageous to helping her fall back to sleep if or when she wakes during the night.  Rather than crying for you to hold or feed her, she’ll be able to quietly fall back to sleep on her own.

Don’t be discouraged if these techniques take a while to work or don’t work for your baby.  Each baby’s needs are different and there are various sleep training techniques available.  Consult your baby’s doctor for other suggestions and remember to remain positive and consistent.

Make Food Fun: Picky Eater Strategy

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

If you have a picky eater on your hands, one great way to entice little ones to try new foods is to make eating them fun!

  • Try turning everyday foods into shapes and animals, such as slicing a bagel and arranging it on a plate to look like a slithering snake or using cookie cutters to cut sandwiches into hearts, stars or dinosaurs.
  • Shrink family-size recipes into personal-size versions. Children will feel special having their very own bite-size pizza.
  • Make a face! Use fruit and veggies to spruce up a boring sandwich with eyes, ears and a mouth.
  • Let your child help you prepare the meal. If they have a hand in making it, they’ll be more inspired to taste it.
  • Encourage your child to play with their food! They can build a mountain out of their mashed potatoes or a veggie train out of their peas and carrots, and then have fun eating them up!

Thanksgiving and Giving Thanks

Friday, November 12th, 2010

We see our family and friends, eat too much pie, enjoy a few extra days off from school and work, but beyond that… How can we demonstrate to our children the importance of both Thanksgiving and giving thanks?

The first Thanksgiving. First, let’s start by making sure our children know the story of the first Thanksgiving. Pick up a developmentally-appropriate book or find information online. It is important to discuss this story of hardship, friendship and sharing in an age-appropriate way.

A new tradition. Establish a new family tradition revolving around what your family is thankful for. This Thanksgiving, have everyone write or draw what they are most thankful for. Together, decorate a shoebox or journal to everyone’s answers. Make a point of adding to this box or journal throughout the year, and by next Thanksgiving you will have an amazing record of thanks. Add to this year after year—what a great treat it will be for the family to read through each Thanksgiving as your children grow!

Share. What are some of the things your children are most thankful for?

Survival Tips for Returning to Work

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

It’s the moment of truth. You are getting ready to go back to work. Maybe your maternity/paternity leave has come to an end or you took time off from your career to be a stay-at-home parent. In these economic times, you may have even been home due to unexpected circumstances. No matter the reason, juggling parenthood while reentering the workforce can be quite the challenge– just getting out the door in the morning can be a logistical nightmare! Here are some survival tips for the savvy parent.

Before You Go Back

A week before you go back to work, wake up at the new time and practice getting everybody ready. Do you need to get yourself ready before the rest of your household wakes? How long do you need? What can your children do while you are getting yourself ready? Will they play in a pack-n-play, feed themselves cereal, take care of their own potty needs or have cuddle time with your spouse? Make it a team effort and brainstorm with your spouse. Get specific about who will pack lunches, feed the children, pour the milk, give the vitamins, etc. Decide whether you will take turns or divvy up the responsibilities. Make sure you each have time to take care of your own needs, too. Hashing all of this out upfront and writing up a schedule will help you to figure out realistically how long it actually takes to get everybody ready in the morning, and then work your timeline backwards from when you’re due at work. Changing diapers, potty time, breakfast, getting dressed and tooth brushing may take a lot longer than you think! And be sure to leave plenty of extra time for traffic or the occasional extra-long good-bye with your child.

Start the Night Before

Pack up everything you and your child need for the next day before you go to bed: diaper bag, lunches, laptop bag, permission slips and bottles. Have the coffeemaker set to have that much needed java brewed and ready. If you weren’t a list maker before you had children, there is no better time than now to start! Jot down even the smallest of details and necessities that need to be packed or prepared. Sticky notes are a working parent’s best friend. Put a small bin in the fridge for each member of your family who packs breakfast, lunch or bottles and label with names.  Fill each bin with all lunch box items so in the morning you can just transfer the contents of each into a thermal bag with ice packs, etc. If something can’t be pre-packed, jot down a note and stick it in the bin so you know at a glance what is missing in the morning mayhem. Choose outfits the night before—if you are super savvy, you might even check the weather and select your children’s outfits for the whole week!

Back to the Grind

You may be shocked at how busy you will be when you go back to work. Plan time before or after work to spend with your children so you don’t feel like you are missing the details. Ease up on the idea of keeping the house clean 24/7. Your children won’t remember if the house was always sparkling clean or not, but they will remember the quality of the time they spent with you. Maximize your lunch breaks: go on a quick walk to boost your energy levels and be sure to pack healthful snacks. You may find it energizing to be back at work—you may be filled with new ideas, and be excited to spend your day with grown-ups! Don’t feel bad about leaving the office as soon as your workday officially ends–parenthood has taught you to be decidedly efficient, and to get more accomplished in less time. And, be sure to get as much sleep as possible–no matter how prepared and organized you are, going back to work and still maintaining a productive household can be exhausting!

You Deserve a Reward!

After all of the planning, organizing and hard work it takes to go back to the grind while also creating a happy and healthy work-life balance, treat yourself! Plan that rewarding lunchtime mani/pedi, a happy hour with your BFF or schedule some Saturday morning cuddle time with the little ones. You deserve it, and it will help reenergize you so you can do it all again next week.

Gather Around Our Table

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

For most parents, getting the family to the dinner table—and keeping them there—takes some creativity. Here are a few secrets to help your little ones (and bigger ones) stay put, eat something other than mac-n-cheese and even look forward to family meals together.

Cut yourself some slack. The goal is to keep your family mealtime a positive, happy experience. Think about lowering your expectations for what a “sit-down” meal with little ones and bigger ones means. Real life can be hectic—balancing work, soccer, piano lessons, play dates—and getting the whole family to the table at the same time can be so challenging that many families just give up. Most of us believe that family dinner is important—we simply lack the patience, energy or tools to pull it off. And then we feel guilty.

Why not make dinnertime fun instead of a chore? Include an unexpected ingredient such as purple carrots or star fruit, serve the kids’ juice in fancy glasses—or enjoy pancakes, eggs and OJ instead of your usual dinner fare. Have a picnic: pack up a basket, spread out a blanket on the living room floor, move a couple potted plants over and enjoy dinner in “the park.” Is your fridge full of leftovers? Dish them up, put out some soft taco shells and let your family enjoy making their own “wacky wrap” creations.

Make it a group effort and give everyone a responsibility. Your spouse could get the salad together while your daughter sets the table. Let your youngest supervise from his booster seat while your son takes the drink orders. Your 10-year-old can feed the baby while you get the rest of dinner on the table. This is the perfect opportunity to provide your children with a valuable sense of involvement. Ask your family for their own ideas and allow them to choose the side dishes for the week. Remember that while some of their requests may be a bit off the wall, they are (generally) doable.

Start a tradition of “Family Happy Hour.” Before you start preparing dinner, serve healthy appetizers such as chopped veggies with hummus or baked whole grain tortilla chips with mango salsa while listening to a fun playlist. These healthy options take the edge off their hunger, and you may find your children happier and more willing to try new foods when you do sit down together.

Dinner is not your only option. Sometimes the demands of real life can get in the way of this important commitment—so, we need to be flexible. Family mealtime is about connecting with your family—if dinner is impossible, why not connect over lunch or a snack? And, take advantage of some shortcut ideas. On the weekend, why not prepare a few meals in advance so that everything is ready to be heated when you get home from a long day at work? Learn to make some compromises—crock pots can be wonderful, and not every meal needs to be Coq au vin!

Family dinner is a good idea. “Mealtime is often the only time in the whole day when everybody’s in the same room having a conversation,” says William Doherty, Ph.D., author of The Intentional Family (Addison Wesley Longman, 1997), “so it’s where the family’s culture gets created.” Family dinner helps demonstrate to our children that they are important enough for us to spend this valuable time with. And we often hear experts say that consistent family mealtime improves nutrition, table manners, communication skills, family relationships and bonding.

Child Proofing Your Home

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

Blocks - Infant GirlAs a parent, you probably never stop worrying about your child. Is he or she happy? Healthy? Safe? While you can’t control everything, there are steps that you can take in your home to help improve your child’s safety and well-being.

Childproofing your home can be an overwhelming task. The most effective way to start is to evaluate your home, room by room, from your child’s perspective. If your child is crawling, get down on your hands and knees. Is your child toddling or walking? Get down to his or her level and check out the view. If you were crawling, toddling or walking where would you go? What looks tempting or interesting? What is within reach? Where could you climb? While not all accidents can be avoided, below are some general childproofing tips to help you get started. Remember to evaluate every area in your home for potential dangers.

Also keep in mind that childproofing is an ongoing process. As your child grows and develops (e.g., crawling, toddling, walking), you will need to reevaluate your childproofing efforts upon each milestone.

Furniture & Appliances

  • Secure heavy furniture and appliances to walls wherever possible.
  • Store heavy items on the bottoms of furniture such as bookshelves and cabinets so they are not top heavy.
  • Keep furniture and/or office drawers closed when not in use – climbing children tend to use these as ladders.
  • Make sure heavy appliances, such as televisions and computers, are pushed back from the edges of furniture – bolt them to the wall if possible.
  • Cover pointed edges of furniture with guards or bumpers
  • In the kitchen, use a stove guard to prevent your child from touching the burners or pulling at hot pots.
  • Use plastic covers if the stove’s knobs are within your child’s reach.
  • Always lock your oven or invest in a lock to prevent your child from opening the oven door.

Doors & Windows

  • Keep windows and doors closed and locked when not in use.
  • Use door knob covers. Be sure that these covers are sturdy enough not to break, but also allow doors to open quickly by and adult in case of emergency.
  • Use door stops or door holders on doors and hinges to keep little fingers safe.
  • Place marks or stickers on glass and sliding doors to make them visible.
  • Keep furniture away from windows.
  • If you have double hung windows, open them from the top.
  • Never open low windows more than four inches.
  • Use window stops, to prevent windows from opening more than four inches.

Blinds, Curtains & Draperies

  • Keep your child’s crib or bed away from blinds, curtains or draperies.
  • Keep blind, curtain and drapery pull cords out of your child’s reach.
    • Cut or remove pull cords.
    • Replace pull cords with safety tassels.
    • Use inner cord stops.
  • Make sure that older blinds and drapery cords have tie-down devices to hold the cords tight.
  • When purchasing new window coverings ask for those with child safety features.

Bathroom

  • Keep the toilet seat down when not in use.
  • Install a toilet lid lock to prevent your child from lifting the lid.
  • Always unplug appliances such as curling irons and hair dryers, after each use (and never keep anything plugged‑in near water).
  • Keep all medications and vitamins in a locked cabinet.
  • Keep razors, scissors, tweezers and other sharp bathroom objects in a high or locked cabinet.
  • Set your water heater temperature to 120 degrees or lower to help prevent burns from hot water.
  • Install anti-scald devices on faucets and showerheads.
  • Use a non-slip mat in the bathtub and on the floor next to the bathtub to prevent slips.

Cabinets, Closets & Drawers

  • Secure cabinets, closets and/or drawers with locks or child-proof latches.
  • Store sharp, potentially harmful objects and dangerous products in high cabinets, out of your child’s reach.

Stairways & Other Areas

  • At the top and bottom of stairs, use safety gates that screw in place; they are more secure than those that stay in place with pressure.
  • Use safety gates that children cannot dislodge, but that you can easily open and close so you will be less likely to leave them open.
  • Use safety gates to prevent your child’s curious exploration into dangerous areas around your home such as the kitchen, bathroom, pool and hot tub.

Electrical Outlets

  • Cover or replace all electrical outlets.
    • Plastic Outlet Protectors –These devices fit directly into the outlet holes to prevent the insertion of foreign objects. If using these protectors; make sure they are large enough not to be a choking hazard.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Covers – These outlets look just like regular outlets, but use a plastic shutter to prevent the insertion of foreign objects.
    • Tamper Resistant Outlet Face Covers – These receptacle covers have plates that slide over the outlet holes when not in use. Some require replacing the entire outlet cover, others install over the existing outlet face cover.
  • Use a power strip safety cover on all in-use power strips.

Sources: www.cpsc.gov, www.babycenter.com, www.kidshealth.org

The Grown Up Life: Marriage and Parenting

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Parental and marital burnout is a common fellow traveler at the end of the third parental year.  It should not be ignored, any more than a lump or a polyp.  And it is just as important that you fix it while it is still benign.

It seems to show up now because we finally let ourselves relax a bit, having gotten our kids talking, potty-trained (or at least started), loving and human enough to believe they will at least have a life.  But that’s when we often begin wondering about our own life, sometimes for the first time in years.

Research on family development shows that marital satisfaction can get perilously low early in the lives of kids because they seem to be such huge energy sinks.  Thoughts of “Are-we-having-fun-yet?” guiltily badger mothers and fathers, especially if they keep these thoughts to themselves.  If you are not enjoying parenting, it may mean that you are working too hard at it.  You may be allowing yourself no savor time because you are too busy whipping the process of development into a frenzy.  My father’s favorite relevant quote: “Trying to teach a pig to sing is just a waste of time.  It frustrates the farmer and really irritates the pig.”  Return to being a parent, not a driver, and let your child return to growing instead of balking.

As for the marriage or partnership that spawned this child, it, too, is usually nurtured by a heart-mind connection that requires periodic preventive and reparative maintenance.  The three-year or 36,000-mile (stairs, chasing, cruise & snooze, shopping) check-up is critical for long-term endurance, because if that machine isn’t purring along, the wheels are going to eventually come off, given the road conditions ahead.

Take time to be together and uncover who you are as adults with minds, opinions, ideas, hobbies, yearnings and dreams.  Date, overnight away, lunch, whatever.  Pay someone else to feed or entertain you for a change, to reverse the energy flow.  Replenishing affection between adults takes conscious effort.  Childcare involves so much touching, holding, carrying, bathing and comforting that adult affection can simply get crowded out of a relationship.  But the replenishment of that affectional and intellectual tie between the adults will be especially important in the years to come when the older school-age child wouldn’t get caught dead kissing a parent on the cheek, much less discuss the idea!

Bottom line: you’ll be fine.  Meanwhile, celebrate how far you’ve come together, and whom you have uniquely become together.  These have been golden years to savor and adore.  None of us would amount to anything without each other, and these early parenting years show better than any others.

Encouraging Good Behavior in Public

Monday, June 21st, 2010

Fostering respect and manners as well as establishing expectations, limits and consequences is a good preparation strategy for any public outing.  Setting examples of good public behavior is vital.

Parents should take advantage of teachable moments and be sure to reinforce the rules they have set.  Children need clear expectations and consequences explained to them on a consistent basis.  Prepare for positive outings by planning ahead.  Parents can help to prevent bad behavior by avoiding major disruptions in their child’s normal routine and schedule.  Make sure trips to the mall, market or your friend’s house do not cause children to skip a snack, meal or nap.

When your child exhibits good behavior, be sure to acknowledge it with a ‘thank you.’  Praise for a job well done goes a long way.  Positive reinforcement instills pride and motivates children to make good behavior a habit.  Resorting to bribes teaches children to value material rewards over intrinsic satisfaction.  Your encouragement and praise will more often be incentive enough and build your child’s self confidence.  Applied on a daily basis, these lessons can help your little one develop into a much friendlier companion, guest and citizen at home as well as in public.

Child Care Prep Tips for Parents-to-Be

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Expectant parents have a lot on their minds from shopping for playpens, to stocking up on diapers, to baby proofing the house. They also have to make a decision about child care. If both parents are going back to work after the baby’s arrival, one thing that must be added to the checklist is finding high-quality child care.

Start Early
The best time to begin researching child care providers for your infant is before your child is born. It might sound a little silly to begin your search so early, but there are a few good reasons to do so. Many families reserve their children’s spots early on, creating long waiting lists at many child care providers. A mom-to-be who waits until the last trimester may encounter some restriction in going out and taking a tour, especially if she needs bed rest. The sooner you find a provider that you are comfortable with, the sooner you can relax and enjoy the time with your newborn.

Location
Another factor to consider is location. You may feel more comfortable having a child care provider close to home, but you’ll need to think about whether this creates problems with picking your child up on time after work due to traffic. You could also choose a location closer to your work, but this could create problems if you ever work from home. If you choose to breast feed, it is more practical to pick a location near your workplace, this way you may be able to go to your baby and nurse. Find out the designated area for breast feeding and if there is a quiet place where you can do this. A few other questions to ask is which parent will be primarily responsible for dropping off and picking up your child, or will you share that role. If you’re sharing the role perhaps you should find a child care provider that is centrally located.

Health & Safety
There is nothing more important than your child’s safety, and when it comes to health and safety there is no question too big or small. Find out if proper hand washing techniques are being utilized. Go ahead and ask about diapering procedures, and whether the location is cleaned every day by a professional. Be clear about any illness policy that determines when children are too ill to attend. Take a tour and see for yourself if the environment is clean and inviting. With all of the concern over immunizations these days, it’s important to ask if the school requires a medical screen and updated immunizations in order to enroll a child, and if the teachers have to provide a medical screen as well.

Director and Teacher Qualifications
You’ll certainly want to find out if the school employs teachers with education and experience in Early Childhood Education. Don’t assume that the school requires ongoing teacher training and development, ask about their plans for ongoing professional development. Make sure to inquire whether teachers are required to have first aid/CPR training. It’s important to know if children are supervised by sight and sound at all times and if the group sizes are small. Smaller group sizes and low teacher-to-child ratios ensure better supervision and safety. These ratios vary from state to state, so inquire about regulations.

Getting a third party opinion is not a bad idea either. You shouldn’t base your decision solely on that, but getting input from friends and family definitely helps in making a decision. To get a real sense of what the typical day is like at the child care provider, you should also make it a point to visit during hours of operation. Plan ahead by asking about other classrooms as well so that you can see the program that your child will attend as he/she grows.

Separation Anxiety

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Separation anxiety is a common element of early childhood development.  Though it is perfectly normal, it can be upsetting to parents and children.

Separation anxiety typically begins around a child’s first birthday and can persist until the child is two-and-a-half years old.  It is important to note that a child’s unwillingness to leave a parent is actually a positive sign of a healthy parent/child relationship.

The following strategies may help families manage separation anxiety:

  • Practice being apart from one other and introduce new people and places slowly.  Make a few visits to your preschool/childcare center before your scheduled start date.  This allows your child to adjust to the idea that you and he will be away from one another.
  • Explain how long it will be before you will return.  Use concepts that your child will understand (e.g., at lunch or after naptime).  It is extremely important that you follow through on your promises.  You should return when you say you will.
  • Be calm and consistent.  Resist the urge to run back to your child at the sight of her tears.  It’s as essential to create a ‘separation routine’ as it is to reassure your child that you will return.  Work with your child’s teacher to establish this routine and have confidence that your child’s teacher has the ability to handle the situation.  After you’ve said your goodbyes, most teachers will probably engage your child in an activity or with a toy so you can depart.
  • For your sake, establish a time to call the school to check on your child’s well-being.  By the time you make this call, your child will most likely have calmed down and adjusted to the day’s routine.
  • You may also want to check with your school’s policy regarding a doll or blanket from home.  These comfort items may assist with transitions.