Behaviors of Potty Training

• Shows an interest in the bathroom
• Can pull down and pull up his/her pants
• Can walk over to and sit down on the toilet by themselves
• Knows what “wet” and “dry” mean

2.)  It is important for your child to understand you are starting something new. Signal this big transition to your child by switching from diapers to training pants.

3.)  Give enthusiastic approval when instruction is followed: hugs, kisses and verbal praise.

4.)  Remember; never try to potty train a child during a time of stress, such as when your family is moving, going on vacation or when the child is sick. If it doesn’t seem to be working, take a break and try again in a few weeks or months. It will happen; just give it time.

At first, it probably appears to the child that it is the toilet that’s being trained (hence the misnomer “toilet training”).  After all, she is typically reasonably satisfied to fill her diaper and continue on about her business.  It is parents who are so enthusiastic for her to move on to the pot in support of public health.

The transition need not be Armageddon if parents remember that a body is more ready for the mind to influence its conduct when development has prepared both.  Consequently, toilet training takes less time and energy when your toddler is as ready as you are.  Starting too early pretty much guarantees the process will be long and messy.  Many children who begin training before 18 months are not completely trained by age four, while those started around two usually are completely trained by age three.

Timing: Somewhere between 18 and 36 months, the child will start to notice that her dirty diaper has become a bother.  She may pull at her diaper or crotch while, or just before, she empties her bladder.  She’ll pick a favorite corner of a room or go under a table before she quietly moves her bowels into her diaper.  These are critical signs that she is making the necessary mental connection between bodily sensations and the urine or stool that is produced from them.  It is easier if this behavior follows the easing of the extreme negativism of early toddlerhood.  Bowel training is typically the first goal.

What Helps: Put a potty in the corner of her room and let her sit on it fully clothed at first, then without a diaper, a few times a day.  Tell her how big people go poop and pee and let her watch a grownup using the toilet.  (Stick to same sex demonstrators.  Otherwise, you will create needless confusion at this age.)  Tell her the potty is where she will put her poop when she is ready.  Then, she can wear “big girl” pants and leave her diapers for babies.  Let her play with her potty using dolls, water, whatever – the less mystery the better.

How to Proceed: Between one of these signaling behaviors and the event itself, ask – in a gently curious way – if she wants to take off her diaper and sit on the potty.  If the answer is no, forget it.  You will have many more chances.  If she says yes, stay with her while she sits, and praise her if she “produces” (not too lavishly, however.  Remember, this is her body to master, not yours.)  If your child doesn’t seem to be “getting it,” don’t force her to sit on the potty.  Instead stay mildly interested and uncritical.  If you change her diaper a few times and find solid stool, drop it into the potty with her to remind her of the real deal.

Expect accidents, and that they will upset your child.  If you’re even more upset, you’re probably pushing too hard.  Sustain your child’s self-regard by reassuring that: “We all have accidents while we learn to use the potty.  Let’s go get some dry pants.”  Also, expect a longer, slower process for staying dry.  Girls usually don’t learn day-dryness until after three, and boys learn even later.

Most children begin to show signs that they are ready for potty training between 18 and 24 months, but instead of using age as an indicator, look for other signs that your child may be ready to start the process, such as the ability to:

• Orally express a need to go
• Keep a diaper dry for two hours or more
• Get to the potty, sit on it, and then get off the potty
• Pull down diapers, disposable training pants or underpants
• Show an interest in using the potty or in wearing underpants

There are a few key points to remember during the potty training process. First, teaching a toddler to use the potty isn’t an overnight experience. This will require a lot of time, patience and a willingness to accept setbacks. Remember that accidents will happen. It’s important to recognize all of the little successes during the process, so be sure to praise all attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens. During the process, if you show disappointment when a child wets or soils themselves or the bed, it can result in a step back. Instead, offer your support and reassure your child that he or she is well on the way to using the potty like a big kid.

10 Training Tips

Once you see that your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty, these tips may help:

1. Don’t make your child sit on the toilet against his or her will. Instead, show your child how you sit on the toilet and explain what you’re doing (because your child learns by watching you). You can also have your child sit on the potty seat and watch while you — or one of his or her siblings — use the toilet.
2. Establish a routine. For example, you may want to begin by having your child sit on the potty after waking with a dry diaper, or 45 minutes to an hour after drinking lots of fluid. Only put your child on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day, and let your child get up if he or she wants to.
3. Try catching your child in the act of pooping. Children often give clear cues that they need to use the bathroom — their faces turn red, and they may grunt or squat. And many kids are regular as to the time of day they tend to have a bowel movement.
4. Have your child sit on the potty within 15 to 30 minutes after meals to take advantage of the body’s natural tendency to have a bowel movement after eating (this is called the gastro-colic reflex).
5. Remove a bowel movement from your child’s diaper, put it in the toilet, and tell your child that poop goes in the potty.
6. Make sure your child’s wardrobe is adaptable to potty training. In other words, avoid overalls and onesies. Simple clothes are a must at this stage and kids who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.
7. Some parents like to let their child have some time during the day without a diaper. If he or she urinates without wearing a diaper, your child may be more likely to feel what’s happening and express discomfort. (But if you opt to keep your child’s bottom bare for a little while, you’ll probably need to keep the potty close by, protect your rugs and carpet and be willing to clean up.)
8. When your son is ready to start urinating standing up, have “target practice.” Show him how to stand so that he can aim his urine stream into the toilet. Some parents use things like cereal pieces as a sort of bull’s-eye for their little guys to try aiming at.
9. Offer your child small rewards, such as stickers or time reading with Mommy, every time your child goes in the potty. Keep a chart to track successes. Once your child appears to be mastering the use of the toilet, let him or her pick out a few new pairs of big-kid underwear to wear.
10. Make sure all of your child’s caregivers — includingbabysittersgrandparents, and child care workers — follow the same routine and use the same names for body parts and bathroom acts. Let them know how you’re handling the issue and ask that they use the same approaches so your child won’t become confused.

There are some stressful or difficult times when you may want to wait to start the toilet-teaching process, for instance when traveling, around the birth of a sibling, changing from the crib to the bed, moving to a new house, or when your child is sick (especially if diarrhea is a factor). It may be better to postpone it until your child’s environment is stable and secure.

Just remember that kids will let you know when they’re ready. If you’re torn about when to start the potty training process, let your child be your guide.

Have specific potty training questions you need answers to? Feel free to email me at AskGoddardSchool@goddardsystems.com or send us your question in an @reply on Twitter. Our Twitter ID is @GoddardSchool.