Posts Tagged ‘Sleep’

Your Preschooler and Sleep

Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Sleep troubles are among parents’ most exasperating experiences with their preschoolers. There are so many considerations in how parents decide to respond when sleep goes off the rails: is this the first child, is the mother or the father more (or less) distressed and do they agree that it is a crisis, the gender of the child (we tend to be more secure in handling kids of the same gender as the parent) and the parents’ sleep habits. There is also a new aspect of sleep that differentiates preschool sleep from toddler sleep: dreams.

Toddlers do dream, but for preschoolers, because of their exploding language and imaginations, dreams are more interesting and powerful and can wreak havoc on a previously good sleeper. When I hear of a sudden deterioration in sleep, dreams are my first suspect. If that’s the case, the child may fall asleep okay, but erupt in the second half of the night.  The child will need reassurance that the dream woke her up, is over now, was not real, will not come back and can’t hurt her. If the child is fighting sleep from the beginning, it is still good to check if the child is afraid to sleep because of dreams. Otherwise, it’s more likely a separation issue (perhaps triggered by something in the family’s life). Then, the parents are in for a tough time of re-structuring calming pre-sleep rituals (reading stories and face massages are good), insisting on the five-minute ‘sit with you’ rule (use a timer), reassuring the child that they’ll be fine and a few sleepless nights of walking them (in a calm, boring way with few words) back to their bed, taking turns if it burns one parent out. I discuss this in greater detail in my book, Partnership Parenting, and there is always your pediatrician to help if these measures aren’t sufficient.

Milestones Matter: From Crib to Bed

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

Generally, the goal is to keep your toddler in a crib as long as possible. You’ll know it’s time to transfer them to a bed when they become persistent in trying to climb out of their crib, are simply too big or too active or are beginning night time potty training. By three years old, most children have made the transition. Once they are potty training they will need to be able to access the bathroom. Children rely on routine and rituals, so any major shift can be difficult—don’t rush into this change before it becomes necessary. Although crib climbing and toddler escape artists can be cause for alarm, so is the idea of a roaming toddler during the middle of the night.

When you decide the time is right for your child, place the new bed in the same place their crib was. If possible, include your child in the selection of their new bed or bedding. Add to the excitement by encouraging your child to show off their “big kid bed” to friends and family members. Some children are very attached to their crib while others readily adjust to the change. Be considerate of all the pressures your child is facing at this stage to “grow up,” and how those feelings may play into their reaction during this transition.

Don’t automatically give up if your little one has trouble adjusting. Persuade your child to give the new bed a chance. If you feel that the switch was too soon, try bed rails or encourage your child to select a new “lovey” to snuggle up with in the “big kid bed.” Give this transition several nights’ tries. In extreme cases, you may have to take a step back and try again later without presenting it as a failure or punishment.

Sleeping Through the Night

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

A good night’s sleep is essential for both you and your baby.  The sooner your little one is sleeping well through the night, the sooner you can return to a beneficial sleep routine as well.

Newborns tend to wake frequently during the night until they reach about three months of age.  This is when most babies begin to sleep for longer periods of time and develop a regular sleep pattern.  By six months of age, most babies are able to sleep through the night, which can be anywhere from five hours on.

To help your baby reach the “sleeping through the night” goal, be sure to establish consistent bedtime and naptimes.  Also, develop a bedtime routine that will be repeated in the same order, at the same time each night.  Consistency is the key in helping your baby develop a healthy sleep pattern.  Find appropriate activities for your baby’s bedtime routine that will help her become calm and relaxed. If a certain activity, such as bathing, seems to be too stimulating, consider moving that activity to another time of day.

It’s also okay to wake your baby in the morning or rouse her from a nap if she is sleeping longer than you would like.  This will help her establish a healthy sleep schedule and to wake at the same time each day.

Putting your baby down to sleep when she shows signs of drowsiness, but is not yet asleep, will help her learn to fall asleep independently.  This is advantageous to helping her fall back to sleep if or when she wakes during the night.  Rather than crying for you to hold or feed her, she’ll be able to quietly fall back to sleep on her own.

Don’t be discouraged if these techniques take a while to work or don’t work for your baby.  Each baby’s needs are different and there are various sleep training techniques available.  Consult your baby’s doctor for other suggestions and remember to remain positive and consistent.

Sleep Patterns in Children

Friday, March 12th, 2010

Children’s sleep issues are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master.  But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.

  • Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
  • Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
  • The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night.  Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
  • Start them young – do not ignore the importance of naps, watch for the yawn, and start bedtime early in the evening.
  • The transition from crib to bed is also a time of sleep pattern changes, but most kids want it to work.
  • To instill good sleep habits remember that consistency matters so much:
    • Bath Time
    • Goodnights
    • Tuck and Talk Bedtime Story
    • Lullabye (yours are best)
    • Goodnights

This all sounds well and good, but it is a rare family that hasn’t had to handle some sleep trouble along the way.  If your family is trying to re-establish a lapsed routine, stay calm and reassuring.  We almost all need more sleep than we get, and it is a tremendous gift to our children to teach them how to sleep well.