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Archive for the ‘Educational Advisory Board’ Category

Five Ways to Discourage Children from Lying

Dr. Kyle Pruett, clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine and member of The Goddard School Educational Advisory Board, offers five ways to discourage children from lying.

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  1. Keep your cool when your child lies. Try to say ‘Oh,’ or ‘Okay,’ to give yourself some time to think about what to say next. Something like ‘I wonder what happened to the flowers’ works better than ‘Whoever did this had better tell the truth (‘or else!’ is implied).’ This strategy makes it easier for children to be truthful and improves your chances of hearing the truth later as they will feel less intimidated.
  2. Calmly, try to help your child understand why he lied and what he can do next time to avoid lying.
  3. Explain to your child that it’s okay to make a mistake and that she doesn’t have to lie about it. Also remember to praise your child for admitting that she made a mistake. Lying lessens when it’s safe to tell the truth.
  4. When you are on the fence about whether or not to believe your preschooler, err on the side of believing that your child is telling the truth. Or his version of it. After all, imagination is a powerful and creative force that might cause a child to tell a lie that he thinks is true. For example, a child might claim that there is a monster in the closet when that obviously isn’t true.
  5. Be aware that you are under constant scrutiny and that the ‘innocent’ white lie that you can’t make a donation to a charitable organization because you don’t have any cash, for instance, will be noticed by your child. Set a good example and remember that the truth starts at home.

Four Ways to Help Children Fall Asleep

Dr. Kyle Pruett, clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine and member of The Goddard School Educational Advisory Board, offers four ways to help children fall asleep.twenty20_633d5703-2356-457f-8730-d07b63f9a0d7

  1. Improve the odds of bedtime going smoothly by not starting the lessons until the child reaches four to six months of age. Starting too early will teach your child to cry, not to sleep.
  2. Be patient and give the process time to work. It takes adults an average of 20 minutes to fall asleep, even though we’ve done it thousands of times, and that’s when our sleep hygiene is working reasonably well. Many adults, especially parents, need a bit more time to fall asleep. Keep in mind that children may experience similar challenges.
  3. Some crying is nearly universal at bedtime. Putting your child to bed when already asleep to avoid the crying might cause him to be disoriented when he wakes up in the night, which he will surely do. You’ll be up yet again because he hasn’t learned how to put himself back to sleep, just to cry for you.
  4. Through your routine, children will learn what happens next, so put them down when they get drowsy, sit down near them, using occasional light touch and your voice to soothe when the pacifier pops out and they have to put out the effort to find it, which is just what you want to them to be able to do in the middle of the night. It’s the wise parent who then says goodnight softly and leaves the room. Some crying may ensue, so wait for a few moments beyond what you think you can stand, then go back in briefly to reassure the child (and yourself) in the softest voice and touch you can manage. In a matter of weeks, research reassures us that your small student will be on the path to being able to fall back to sleep on his or her own.

Six Ways to Cope with Your Child’s First Crush

Navigating the waters of our children’s emotions can be tricky. Learning expert and award-winning writer Susan Magsamen, member of The Goddard School Educational Advisory Board, offers six tips on how to cope with your child’s first crush.twenty20_9d20fa78-9565-49b8-96b5-6ae19b9d349c

  1. Remember what it feels like. Our inexperienced children might feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and self-conscious about a crush. Respect this sensitivity and help them to put words to these feelings if they’re open to talking with you about it. The older they get, the less they will want to talk. Respect this, too.
  2. Keep lines of communication open. Try not to judge your child’s crush. It is easy to start to share your opinion—“She’s cute,” “He’s trouble,” “Be careful” and so on, mirroring your wisdom and experience. Remember it’s unlikely that this is your child’s first and only crush. They are experimenting and learning what it feels like to love others. This is important for setting boundaries and building independence. Encourage them to talk with you. Be open and be a good listener. They’re not usually looking for advice, but they may want a sounding board.
  3. Don’t take it personally. The fact that our children have crushes doesn’t mean they love us less. A strong relationship with a teacher, stepparent, coach or other adult in a child’s life is healthy. There’s more than enough love to go around, and children need to know they don’t have to choose who they love for fear of losing us.
  4. Don’t obsess over their obsession. Crushes can last a short time, even a few days, or longer. Crushes are healthy. Sometimes they are a fantasy or an escape. If they are distracting to the point of interrupting daily routines or if they become emotionally stressful, you may need to intervene. “How much is too much?” is always a question that needs to be considered. Talk with other parents about how they cope with this topic. Since your children are often getting information from many sources, it can be hard to figure out what’s appropriate. If you feel uncomfortable, listen to your instincts.
  5. Offer strategies. Talk to your children about what their goals are. Are they enamored but not interested in letting the crushee know? Are they feeling uncomfortable and wanting to talk about how to feel less stressed? Help them identify their feelings and develop strategies for how to move forward.
  6. Be there for a broken heart. I will never forget the time my son came home from school and said, “How can you love someone and they not love you back?” Unrequited love is by far the most painful. Time and empathy is the only way to heal a broken heart. “Getting back on the horse,” as we all inevitably do, might help too.

The Benefits of a Musical Environment

MusicYou can make music with just about anything found in your household. Adding a musically inclined environment to your child’s life offers extensive benefits for her emotional, intellectual and social development.

For young children, music helps identify teamwork. It shows that you can create something greater with the help of more people. For example, the use of drums, guitars and vocals can produce a better song than a song only containing the use of drums.

Music allows children to express themselves through creativity and openness with others. Enjoying music gives preschoolers a common interest and can create lasting friendships. Here are some ideas to incorporate some tunes into your child’s daily activities.

  • Allow your child to sit at the kitchen table with pots and pans to use as drums while you make dinner. This engages your child with you in the kitchen and keeps him away from the possible dangers of the kitchen while you are cooking. Provide him with different types of pans and utensils (for example, plastic utensils and metal pans) so that he can learn to create various sounds. It is best not to use glass in this activity.
  • Sing along with your child in the car. Preschoolers are not yet at the age where they become self-conscious of their behavior. In fact, most little ones love letting out their strong vocal chords for everyone around them to hear. Encourage your child to do this more often, even if it is a little loud on the ear drums! Playing basic songs and repeating them regularly will help your child retain simple melodies and rhythms.
  • Plan a dance party for family fun night. Encourage your child to get up and show you his moves by playing freeze dance. This is done by a family member controlling the music and stopping it at random times. When the music is stopped, everyone freezes until the song restarts. Freeze dance always results in tons of giggles by all the family members.

Four Ways to Encourage Gratitude

072O2495Teaching children how to be grateful is important. Dr. Kyle Pruett, clinical professor of child psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine and member of The Goddard School Educational Advisory Board, offers four tips on how to encourage gratitude.

  1. Regularly express your own thankfulness verbally. Saying things such as “We are very lucky to have grandma nearby” or “I’m thankful to have a son like you in my life” or “Your dad made that so easy for all of us” can help demonstrate the appreciation you have for the people around you.
  2. Express gratitude behaviorally. Take a casserole to a neighbor who has been kind or needs some extra help for whatever reason—even better if the children help you make it. When the hand-me-down toys end their cycle, make a thrift store run with the children in tow.
  3. Make generosity part of your family’s routine. When seasons change, collect clothes from everyone’s closet to donate or take canned goods to the local soup kitchen.
  4. Take the children along on community fundraising activities, runs, walks, etc. Explain to them why this matters to you. Make sure your children meet the organizers and understand the purpose; if it’s personal, it’s remembered.

How to (Really) Help Your Kids Learn Gratitude in a Hectic World

Gratitude has far reaching benefits—for you, your family and those around you. Click here to read tips on how to put it into practice.

By Susan Magsamen for Working Mother Magazine