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Posts Tagged ‘Potty training’

Potty Training

Potty training is a major milestone in a child’s life and can be difficult for many parents.

Most children begin to show signs that they are ready for potty training between 18 and 24 months. However, instead of using age as an indicator, look for other signs that your child may be ready to start the process, such as these:twenty20_f33fc0a5-02b6-4782-90db-35bd62a89cda

  • She orally expresses a need to go;
  • She keeps her diaper dry for over two hours;
  • She goes to the potty, sits on it and then gets off the potty;
  • She pulls down her diaper, her disposable training pants or her underpants;
  • She shows an interest in using the potty or in wearing underpants.

During the potty training process, remember that teaching a toddler to use the potty is not an overnight experience. It requires a lot of time, patience and a willingness to accept setbacks. Remember that accidents will happen. Recognizing all the little successes during the process is important. Be sure to praise her each time she attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens. If you show disappointment when she wets or soils herself, it can result in a step backward. Instead, offer your support and reassure her that she is close to using the potty like a big girl.

10 Training Tips

Once you see that your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty, these tips may help.

  1. Do not make your child sit on the toilet against her will. Instead, show her how you sit on the toilet and explain to her what you’re doing. Children learn by watching. You can also have her sit on the potty seat and watch while you or one of her siblings uses the toilet.
  2. Establish a routine. For example, you can begin by having her sit on the potty after waking up with a dry diaper or by having her sit on the potty an hour after drinking lots of fluid. Only have her sit on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day. Let her get off the potty as soon as she wants.
  3. Try catching her in the act of pooping. Children often give clear cues that they need to use the bathroom: their faces turn red and they may grunt or squat. Many children tend to have a bowel movement around the same time every day.
  4. Have your child sit on the potty 15 to 30 minutes after meals to take advantage of the body’s natural tendency to have a bowel movement after eating. This is called the gastro-colic reflex.
  5. Remove a bowel movement from your child’s diaper, put it in the toilet and tell your child that poop goes in the potty.
  6. Make sure your child’s wardrobe is suitable for potty training. Avoid overalls and onesies. Simple clothes are necessary at this stage of training, and children who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.
  7. Some parents like to let their child spend some time during the day without a diaper. If she urinates without wearing a diaper, she may be more likely to feel what’s happening and express discomfort. If you opt to keep your child’s bottom bare for a little while, keep the potty close by, protect your rugs and be ready to clean up the mess.
  8. When your son is ready to start urinating standing up, have him play target practice. Show him how to stand so that he can aim his urine stream into the toilet. Some parents use things like cereal pieces as a target for their little guys to hit.
  9. Offer your child small rewards, such as stickers or time reading with Mommy, every time he uses the toilet. You can also let him pick out a few new pairs of big-boy underwear.
  10. Make sure all of your child’s caregivers, including babysitters, grandparents and teachers, follow the same routine and use the same names for body parts and bathroom acts. Let them know how you’re handling the issue and ask them to use the same approaches so your child won’t become confused.

There are some times in which it might be awkward for you to start the toilet-training process. During these periods it may be better to wait until your child’s environment is stable and secure. For example you might want to postpone toilet training:

Just remember that toddlers will let you know when they’re ready. If you’re torn about when to start the potty training process, let your child be your guide.

O To Be Dry! On Bedwetting and Kids

Guest Post by Dr. Jack Maypole

Back when I was 4 or 5 years old, my mother was baffled by a spatter pattern of stains on my day-glo 1970s era orange plush rug. Day after day, more spots  appeared.  Until late one night, my mother came across me sitting up in bed, apparently still asleep, peeing gloriously across the floor like a lawn sprinkler.  I was not so much a bedwetter as “one who wet from the bed.”

For many children and families, however, bedwetting is no joke. Bedwetting can be a profound bummer, cause of untold stress in a household, source of frustration for parents, and a basis for anxiety or low self esteem in a child.

Bedwetting occurs when someone pees in the bed, presumably while asleep. Bedwetting is deemed ‘enuresis’ (from the Greek, ‘to make water’) when a child aged five years or older repeatedly, and unconsciously, empties their bladder during sleep.  Health care providers will make a distinction between ‘primary enuresis’, for a child who has never achieved regular overnight bladder control, versus ‘secondary enuresis,’ for kids who had nighttime dryness for 6 months or more, but who began wetting the bed for some reason. Both are challenging. I’ll focus on primary enuresis here.

A wee bit of physiology may be helpful before we go, so to speak. By the age of two, children begin to master control of their bladder muscles, allowing them to pee at will when awake.  By the age of four, greater than 98% of children will have achieved daytime dryness. Nighttime dryness develops eventually, and sometimes much later in some kids.  (see the nice table I lifted here:)

Age
%Kids Dry by Day % Kids Dry by Night
2 yrs 25

10

2.5 yrs

85

48

3 yrs

98

78

At age four, about a quarter of all children still wet the bed with some regularity. That is a lot of pullups! By 7 years, about 5-10% of kids still have accidents, and that number drops to about 4% by age 10. As a rule, those older, persistent bedwetters will achieve regular bed dryness (i.e. bladder control overnight) at a rate of about 15% per year. Depending on who you are, that can be reassuring…or not. More on that in a bit.

Enuresis happens when a child has a bladder whose capacity cannot keep up with the nighttime urine production.  Ideally, a child awakens from sleep and goes to the loo when they feel Nature’s call. In the majority of cases, kids with enuresis are profoundly deep sleepers. In addition, children with enuresis may  have smaller than usual bladders or slower-to-develop bladder muscles.  Simply, they fail  to rouse from sleep in spite of signals sent to the brain from nerves in the bladder reporting peepee overflow is imminent.

Genetics matter, too.  Lest we wrongly blame our offspring for willfully soaking their bedsheets (which, BTW is almost never the case. Quite the opposite!), note this well. Often, there is a strong inherited correlation between enuresis and other family members having had the problem. Enuresis exists in 44% of children when one of their parents has a history of same. When both parents have such a history, the rates of enuresis in their kids soars to 77% (Compare that to a rate of  15% in kids when neither parent had the problem. Wow!).  Fortunately, even for kids whose relatives did not gain control until later (e.g. middle or even high school) most will respond to treatments and interventions to overcome the problem.

Take home point #1: the vast majority of bedwetting kids are physically and psychologically normal.  Less than one percent of children with nighttime enuresis have some sort of anatomic, physical, or systemic disease or condition.  Better yet, many of these children and families can manage the challenge competently in tandem with their child’s primary care provider.

What to do?

Whenever I get a question or query about enuresis –be it from a weary parent, a bewildered first grader, or a frustrated tween–It is key to treat the topic with respect, and to provide a family with some perspective. Namely, that this is an embarrassing but surmountable problem, and that it is incredibly common (to the tune of some 5-7 million children in the U.S. Or, ask Sarah Silverman).  Even simple reassurance can provide some relief.

Further, research and my experience confirm that kids and families do better when the issue is addressed by engaging the child and assessing her goals and concerns (versus talking over her head while she sits in a room). A healthy four year old who wets the bed may not require extensive intervention (yet), but may do well with reassurance and a few behavioral approaches (see below). An eight year old, by contrast, may be desperate to stop bedwetting yesterday, and be unwilling or unable to sleep over at friends houses or to go to sleep away camp . For school age kids, for example, it’s best to have sibs step out of the room for a second, and then, have a conversation. Enuresis is a tender, private subject.  Teasing probably isn’t a good idea. Humor needs to be used delicately. I can’t say that enough.

As one author aptly writes, it can be helpful for kids to think of achieving nighttime bladder control as analogous to riding a bike. Coaching, persistence, positive reinforcement and a good attitude (by all!) will get you there…eventually, with reassurance and support along the way.

The Ins and outs

To evaluate a child with enuresis, it all starts with a thorough history. Each child needs to be considered individually on the basis of their age, development, medical and family history, and lifestyle.  A clinician and family will need to review a variety of questions about a bedwetting child’s behavior, possible medication use, daily routines, food and fluid intake as well as voiding and stooling patterns.  Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, seizures sleep apnea or known sleep disorders may exacerbate or trigger bedwetting and require additional evaluation and collaboration with a specialist.

Constipation bears special mention here, as backed up poop in the large intestine can be a trigger for poor bladder control. For many families, a constipation plan needs to be built in to an enuresis plan from the start. You gotta be regular to be dry.

Life of Pee

A diary of a child’s fluid intake and output done over a week or two can be quite illuminating. Some children tend to drink very little over a school day, and thus arrive home thirsty. Hydrating from late afternoon to bedtime can put quite a load on the system, and can be a setup for nighttime accidents.  Further, parents should record their observations about when kids have accidents at night (once? more than once? early or late?).  This input may assist in shaping which/when interventions work best.

A primary provider can perform a complete physical exam and recommend any testing accordingly. For most cases, a simple urinalysis will suffice while ruling out most concerns for badness (including diabetes, or urinary tract infections).  Imaging, such as obtaining ultrasounds or Xrays, is rarely needed.

Round One of interventions for all children with enuresis is a combination of examining daytime drinking patters, applying pre-bedtime fluid restriction and scheduled bladder emptying. Put simply: 1) children should be encouraged to drink consistently over a day; 2) last call for a child for a beverage should be 60 minutes or more before bedtime; 3) there should be two pre-night-night toilet trips, at 30 minutes before sleep and just before sleep. An emptier tank helps!

Along the way, remember two truths for all children with enuresis. Positive reinforcement works.  And, punishment and anger have no place as they can sabotage a child on many levels. Period.  Families find more success when they recognize adherence to the Dryness Plan with smaller, more frequent rewards. Only getting a prize for a dry night can take a while! Kids can be praised or receive simple treats if they do a good job with adjusting their fluid intake, or hitting the bathroom as requested. Certainly, dry nights should be recognized accordingly. Conversely, setbacks are commonplace and are to be expected. Despair not! Parents have to be on-board, engaged, and consistent. Kids can’t be expected to do this alone. Optimism, support, and a can-do attitude will go much farther. It’s not easy, and it requires teamwork.

Creativity and practicality help, too. Some parents find double sheeting the bed helps for middle of the night wetting events. Placement of absorbent padding on the top sheet allows for quick removal in case of an accident, and avoids the need to remake the bed in the dark.

For children ages 6-7 with enuresis, so-called ‘dry-bed’ training may be helpful.  By tracking when accidents occur, parents can try using alarms at night to do overnight trips to the bathroom.  Kiddos do not have to be fully awake to pee (but just enough to aim at the toilet, of course). Over time and in some instances, this technique trains children to rouse to the signal of their need to go.  The downside of this approach? Some kids (and their parents) feel underslept the next day.

For children 7 and older, additional means may be necessary. Enuresis alarms, such as the unfortunately named  Potty Pager, function by vibrating or beeping when a sensor is triggered by wetness in a child’s underwear.  Alarms that beep seem to rouse kids better than those that simply vibrate. The alarms can be expensive (a hundred bucks, or more), and only some are covered by some insurance. But, alarms do work and parents can review options with their child’s primary care doc.

Take home point #2: Over a couple of months, enuresis alarms can be effective in 2/3 of children 7 and up who use it, and about 1/2 stay dry when they stop using it.  Hence, alarms may need to be reapplied for kids who resume bedwetting for retraining (don’t throw them away!).

Medication may be an option for the Over 7s who do not respond to the above interventions, and/or who may use meds for special occasions.  Medications do not ‘cure’ enuresis, but enhance the ability of the bladder to retain urine while they are in use.  Consequently, kids may have bladder control on meds, and return to having accidents when they discontinue them.  And, parents need to review with their child’s provider the potential side effects and set up a plan to monitor their use if they opt to use them.  I recommend using combination of medications and bedwetting alarms when done with support with a consulting provider.  Some children use medications episodically, such as during sleepovers or time away at camp. This may allow kids who have grown self conscious or isolated to normalize their lifestyle and regain some confidence.

And so, here’s to pleasant dreams, dry nights, and persistence. Raise your glass and toast to hanging in there, but don’t drink your beverage within 60 minutes of bedtime, please.

Toilet Training Tips

Family - Father DaughterOnce your child shows behaviors of potty training and your child follows general instructions willingly, he/she is ready to learn and follow new instructions, like those for potty training.

Behaviors of Potty Training

  • Shows an interest in the bathroom
  • Can pull down and pull up his/her pants
  • Can walk over to and sit down on the toilet by themselves
  • Knows what “wet” and “dry” mean

It is important for your child to understand you are starting something new. Signal this big transition to your child by switching from diapers to training pants.  Give enthusiastic approval when instruction is followed: hugs, kisses and verbal praise.  Remember; never try to potty train a child during a time of stress, such as when your family is moving, going on vacation or when the child is sick. If it doesn’t seem to be working, take a break and try again in a few weeks or months. It will happen; just give it time.

Potty Training Tips

1.)  Once your child shows behaviors of potty training and your child follows general instructions willingly, he/she is ready to learn and follow new instructions, like those for potty training.

Behaviors of Potty Training

  • Shows an interest in the bathroom
  • Can pull down and pull up his/her pants
  • Can walk over to and sit down on the toilet by themselves
  • Knows what “wet” and “dry” mean

2.)  It is important for your child to understand you are starting something new. Signal this big transition to your child by switching from diapers to training pants.

3.)  Give enthusiastic approval when instruction is followed: hugs, kisses and verbal praise.

4.)  Remember; never try to potty train a child during a time of stress, such as when your family is moving, going on vacation or when the child is sick. If it doesn’t seem to be working, take a break and try again in a few weeks or months. It will happen; just give it time.

Training your Toddler for the Toilet

Excerpt from Me, Myself and I

Dramatic Play - Girl

At first, it probably appears to the child that it is the toilet that’s being trained (hence the misnomer “toilet training”).  After all, she is typically reasonably satisfied to fill her diaper and continue on about her business.  It is parents who are so enthusiastic for her to move on to the pot in support of public health.

The transition need not be Armageddon if parents remember that a body is more ready for the mind to influence its conduct when development has prepared both.  Consequently, toilet training takes less time and energy when your toddler is as ready as you are.  Starting too early pretty much guarantees the process will be long and messy.  Many children who begin training before 18 months are not completely trained by age four, while those started around two usually are completely trained by age three.

Timing: Somewhere between 18 and 36 months, the child will start to notice that her dirty diaper has become a bother.  She may pull at her diaper or crotch while, or just before, she empties her bladder.  She’ll pick a favorite corner of a room or go under a table before she quietly moves her bowels into her diaper.  These are critical signs that she is making the necessary mental connection between bodily sensations and the urine or stool that is produced from them.  It is easier if this behavior follows the easing of the extreme negativism of early toddlerhood.  Bowel training is typically the first goal.

What Helps: Put a potty in the corner of her room and let her sit on it fully clothed at first, then without a diaper, a few times a day.  Tell her how big people go poop and pee and let her watch a grownup using the toilet.  (Stick to same sex demonstrators.  Otherwise, you will create needless confusion at this age.)  Tell her the potty is where she will put her poop when she is ready.  Then, she can wear “big girl” pants and leave her diapers for babies.  Let her play with her potty using dolls, water, whatever – the less mystery the better.

How to Proceed: Between one of these signaling behaviors and the event itself, ask – in a gently curious way – if she wants to take off her diaper and sit on the potty.  If the answer is no, forget it.  You will have many more chances.  If she says yes, stay with her while she sits, and praise her if she “produces” (not too lavishly, however.  Remember, this is her body to master, not yours.)  If your child doesn’t seem to be “getting it,” don’t force her to sit on the potty.  Instead stay mildly interested and uncritical.  If you change her diaper a few times and find solid stool, drop it into the potty with her to remind her of the real deal.

Expect accidents, and that they will upset your child.  If you’re even more upset, you’re probably pushing too hard.  Sustain your child’s self-regard by reassuring that: “We all have accidents while we learn to use the potty.  Let’s go get some dry pants.”  Also, expect a longer, slower process for staying dry.  Girls usually don’t learn day-dryness until after three, and boys learn even later.

Potty Training Awareness Month

Potty training is a major milestone in a child’s life. For many parents, potty training is difficult.  So, in honor of Potty Training Awareness Month (June), I thought it would be the perfect time to share some information/tips to give you a better understanding of the basics of potty training.

Most children begin to show signs that they are ready for potty training between 18 and 24 months, but instead of using age as an indicator, look for other signs that your child may be ready to start the process, such as the ability to:

  • Orally express a need to go
  • Keep a diaper dry for two hours or more
  • Get to the potty, sit on it, and then get off the potty
  • Pull down diapers, disposable training pants or underpants
  • Show an interest in using the potty or in wearing underpants

There are a few key points to remember during the potty training process. First, teaching a toddler to use the potty isn’t an overnight experience. This will require a lot of time, patience and a willingness to accept setbacks. Remember that accidents will happen. It’s important to recognize all of the little successes during the process, so be sure to praise all attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens. During the process, if you show disappointment when a child wets or soils themselves or the bed, it can result in a step back. Instead, offer your support and reassure your child that he or she is well on the way to using the potty like a big kid.

10 Training Tips

Once you see that your child is ready to start learning how to use the potty, these tips may help:

  1. Don’t make your child sit on the toilet against his or her will. Instead, show your child how you sit on the toilet and explain what you’re doing (because your child learns by watching you). You can also have your child sit on the potty seat and watch while you — or one of his or her siblings — use the toilet.
  2. Establish a routine. For example, you may want to begin by having your child sit on the potty after waking with a dry diaper, or 45 minutes to an hour after drinking lots of fluid. Only put your child on the potty for a few minutes a couple of times a day, and let your child get up if he or she wants to.
  3. Try catching your child in the act of pooping. Children often give clear cues that they need to use the bathroom — their faces turn red, and they may grunt or squat. And many kids are regular as to the time of day they tend to have a bowel movement.
  4. Have your child sit on the potty within 15 to 30 minutes after meals to take advantage of the body’s natural tendency to have a bowel movement after eating (this is called the gastro-colic reflex).
  5. Remove a bowel movement from your child’s diaper, put it in the toilet, and tell your child that poop goes in the potty.
  6. Make sure your child’s wardrobe is adaptable to potty training. In other words, avoid overalls and onesies. Simple clothes are a must at this stage and kids who are potty training need to be able to undress themselves.
  7. Some parents like to let their child have some time during the day without a diaper. If he or she urinates without wearing a diaper, your child may be more likely to feel what’s happening and express discomfort. (But if you opt to keep your child’s bottom bare for a little while, you’ll probably need to keep the potty close by, protect your rugs and carpet and be willing to clean up.)
  8. When your son is ready to start urinating standing up, have “target practice.” Show him how to stand so that he can aim his urine stream into the toilet. Some parents use things like cereal pieces as a sort of bull’s-eye for their little guys to try aiming at.
  9. Offer your child small rewards, such as stickers or time reading with Mommy, every time your child goes in the potty. Keep a chart to track successes. Once your child appears to be mastering the use of the toilet, let him or her pick out a few new pairs of big-kid underwear to wear.
  10. Make sure all of your child’s caregivers — includingbabysittersgrandparents, and child care workers — follow the same routine and use the same names for body parts and bathroom acts. Let them know how you’re handling the issue and ask that they use the same approaches so your child won’t become confused.

There are some stressful or difficult times when you may want to wait to start the toilet-teaching process, for instance when traveling, around the birth of a sibling, changing from the crib to the bed, moving to a new house, or when your child is sick (especially if diarrhea is a factor). It may be better to postpone it until your child’s environment is stable and secure.

Just remember that kids will let you know when they’re ready. If you’re torn about when to start the potty training process, let your child be your guide.

Have specific potty training questions you need answers to? Feel free to email me at AskGoddardSchool@goddardsystems.com or send us your question in an @reply on Twitter. Our Twitter ID is @GoddardSchool.