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Positive Alternatives to “No”

Children should begin to learn to respect limits from a young age. Most boundaries for children are set for health and safety reasons and are a very important and necessary developmental tool. Children are corrected every day, which can lead them to simply “tune out” any perceived negativity or become uncooperative. Regardless of their age, most people respond better to positively communicated direction. This is especially true for children. For example, “Grandma is worried about us getting stains on her couch. Let’s enjoy our snack in her kitchen instead,” will generate more cooperation than “No food or drinks in Grandma’s living room.”

Try telling your child what they can do instead of what they can’t. Practice the positive alternatives below to avoid overusing the word “no” while maintaining reasonable limits.

  • “Maybe later” can work to delay a request such as snacks or sweets before mealtime.
  • “Not today” communicates that the timing is wrong but leaves the possibility open.
  • “When we’ve done (this), then we can do (that).” This method is good for transition times and to help toddlers establish event routines. For example, “When all of your toys are put away, we can go play at the park.”
  • “I’ll think about it” replaces an automatic “no” by allowing yourself the time to think about your determination. Parents tend to make better decisions when they take the time to think about the request and their response.
  • “Sure, did you bring your allowance?” This technique allows you to communicate that they may have the requested item if they can pay for it themselves.
  • “Yes (with qualifier).” This strategy grants conditional permission. For example, “Yes, you may play the game after we eat dinner.”

Five Simple Ways to Raise a Reader

It’s been said that reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Reading strengthens children’s analytical thinking skills, improves their memories and expands their vocabulary. Reading is also an excellent way to reduce stress. But how do you raise a reader? Here’s how:

 

  1. Establish a story time. Ask your child to pick out a book and read it to him while he snuggles with you on the couch. Make time every day to read an age-appropriate book to him. He will remember the time you spent together even if he forgets the stories.

 

  1. Share your faves. Have favorite books from your childhood? Pick out a few, read them to your child and see if any of them click. She might not love all of them, but chances are that she will probably go wild for some of them. After all, books like Green Eggs and Ham and Curious George are classics for a reason.

 

  1. Explore an author’s works. Did your child love Where the Wild Things Are and Chicken Soup with Rice? Find Maurice Sendak’s other books and read them to him. If you aren’t familiar with the author’s other works, you can ask your local librarian or do some research on the Internet to find additional titles.

 

  1. Let one passion inspire another. Find books that speak to your child’s interests. Does she like animals? Check out a Berenstain Bears book from the local library. Is your little one into trucks? Get some books about construction. Got a baseball fan? Well, you get the idea.

 

  1. Lead by example. Encourage your child to be a voracious reader by showing him that you are a voracious reader. Planning weekly trips to the library with him, taking him to your local bookstore on a regular basis and designating a special story time will show him that you make reading a priority.

The Goddard School – website

Working Parents – Benefits To Children

With 400 schools and counting, The Goddard School® community is continually growing. Families of all types choose our Schools to educate their children and nurture them into confident, joyful learners. Families bring their children to The Goddard School for the value of our early childhood education program. Often, both parents work full-time and are seeking the extended hours of care our Schools provide and The Goddard School’s playful, nurturing approach to learning. Parents and children experience benefits and challenges when both parents work. Here are some benefits:

  • Children receive developmentally appropriate lessons that parents may overlook or not realize their child is ready to learn;
  • Parents have added peace of mind knowing that their child is being prepared for elementary school;
  • When they are placed in a setting with their peers, children form strong socialization skills;
  • Children who spend time away from their parents at an early age may show less separation anxiety;
  • With parents both working, children adjust to a normal routine;
  • Teachers reinforce lessons about manners, sharing and other necessary life skills at school;
  • Parents appreciate the quality time they get with their children, and weekends with the family are highly valued;
  • Children learn to listen, communicate, cooperate and collaborate from spending time with people other than their parents;
  • Parents may find that time away from home filled with adult interaction is energizing and helps them appreciate their families;

While the choice whether to return to work may be a difficult decision for a mother or father to make, children can benefit if their parents both work.  The Goddard School collaborates with parents to ensure the children are getting the best possible care and the best early childhood education in a nurturing and joyful environment, which can be a huge help as parents navigate the world of parenting.

The Goddard School – Website

Setting Limits: Discipline and Action by Dr. Kyle Pruett

When setting limits, there are two key points to remember:

  • The fewer words the better.
  • Actions speak louder than words.

 

Fewer Words

My own decades of experience in clinical practice shows me that when parents use discipline phrases of more than 20 words, their children do not respond most of the time. If the emotional tone of that discipline is negative and nagging, children are particularly deaf. This is so hard for many parents because we feel we are so right (actually righteous), compared to our children. We want to believe that the more we correct them, the better they will behave. The data shows exactly the opposite.

 

Effective Actions

Few words only work in the self-control area if you back it up with action. Otherwise, internal shame will turn into the humiliation of being useless. When your child bites someone during a visit, take her home after a simple reprimand, and don’t endlessly berate her in her car seat. The action of losing her playtime speaks louder that anything you might say. Handing a spoon to a child who is mashing food into her mouth at dinner beats a lecture on manners.

 

Your love and opinion of your children matters deeply to them, especially when they are struggling to develop more self-control. Showing your children that their behavior affects the way you feel, helps children understand that you have feelings, too. Empathy and compassion begin to grow. When children see that their evolving self-control can make their parent feel good, the affirmation adds social and cognitive accomplishment to the achievement of controlling one’s behavior.

The Goddard School – Macedonia

Break Up The Bad Weather Blues

Are you stuck inside because of the freezing temperatures or the rain? Take a step back from the TV, tablet or video game, and shake up your normal routine. When the weather prevents your children from playing outside, provide them with challenging activities and active games!

Have a Board Game Competition.

Hold a board game competition in your living or family room. Spend the day playing different games. You can even compete for prizes.

Create an Indoor Obstacle Course.

Create a course with 10 to 15 stations of quick physical or educational activities. One station might require your child to jump on one foot 15 times; at another, your child should sing the alphabet song twice. Use a stop watch or oven clock to time each other and see who can complete the obstacle course the in fastest time or who can improve on their previous best times.

Create Your Very Own Time Capsule.

Spend the day with your child creating and filling a time capsule with items, notes, pictures and other things that are important to you and your child. Then, store it away. On a rainy or snowy day in the future, open it up and share your memories!

Don’t let the weather put a damper on your fun and learning. Make the best out of being stuck indoors with a little creativity and items you already have in your home!

 The Goddard School – Webpage

Ten Things To Do During A Staycation

With the holiday season upon us, many of you will decide to take a vacation. However, you might want to consider an alternative…a Staycation! A staycation is a simple, cost-effective way of taking a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life without the stress of travel. Here are some fun things you can do during your staycation.

  1. Visit a museum. Walking around a museum can be a great way for you and your child to get some exercise while learning something new. The museum may also be less crowded during the week.
  2. Go to the zoo or aquarium. As with museums, a zoo or aquarium provides an excellent opportunity to learn about wildlife while enjoying a nice stroll with your child.
  3. Have a game day. Spend a day playing board games, word games or sports you and your children like. You could even keep track of who wins each game and award a prize or treat to the person who wins the most games.
  4. Create a vacation spot. Set up an umbrella in your sandbox to make a mini beach in your backyard and prepare crabs for dinner. Or set up a tent in your backyard and go camping. Just don’t forget the s’mores!
  5. See a movie. Visit your local movie theater to catch a flick with your child, or cuddle up with your child on the couch at home and watch a movie.
  6. Get together with relatives. If your child’s grandparents or cousins live nearby, make plans to have them visit for a day or meet up with them for lunch.
  7. Plan a day trip. Do you live close to the beach or a state park? Pack some snacks, water and any other supplies you might need, and enjoy the wonders of nature with your little one.
  8. Celebrate “pajama day.” Spend a day just lounging around in your pajamas with your child. You can also play games, read a few books or put on some music and have a pajama dance party. Do whatever you want…in your pajamas.
  9. Bake some goodies with your little one. Give your child a bunch of different treat options and ask him to pick one. Then work together to gather the ingredients, mix them together and cook something special.
  10. Go for a drive. Lay out a map and ask your child to choose a nearby destination to visit. You can also encourage her to keep an eye out for attractions along the way.

The Goddard School (Macedonia) – website

Keeping Your Child On Track Through The Holiday Season

family-01_jpgThe holiday season is here. The holidays can be fun and joyful for families, but they can also be stressful and unsettling, especially for children. You can take steps to ensure your child has a positive experience and gets through this busy time with less stress. Here are some suggestions that may help.

  1. Provide good nutrition – Eating healthy, nutritious foods can be a challenge with all the treats and special holiday foods. Stock up on fresh fruits, vegetables and lean sources of protein to provide a balanced diet for your family.
  2. Help your child get enough sleep – A tired child is a cranky child. Being consistent with naptimes and bedtimes is especially important during the holiday season. This can be a challenge, but by planning and incorporating these times into your holiday schedule, you can improve your child’s behavior and increase everyone’s enjoyment of an event.
  3. Set expectations and consequences – Letting your children know your expectations for their behavior and the consequences of misbehaving is essential, especially during the holidays. You must be willing to follow through with the consequences, or the rules will have no meaning.
  4. Keep the rules developmentally appropriate – When setting rules and expectations, be aware of what is appropriate for your children’s ages and developmental stages. Often, parents’ expectations do not align with their child’s developmental capabilities.
  5. Stay calm and be flexible – Don’t lose sight of the goal of the holidays, which is to celebrate your family and the traditions important to you. Take a break if you are feeling overwhelmed, even if it is only 10 minutes to breathe and clear your mind. Staying calm will help you and your child enjoy this wonderful time of year.

For more information about The Goddard School located in Macedonia, Ohio, please visit our website below:

The Goddard School – website

Media Use by Young Children by Dr. Kyle Pruett

Remember when the American Academy of Pediatrics issued its recommendation five years ago that children two and under should not watch any television, and that children over two should limit exposure to two hours per day? Many parents seemed as reassured by this advice as they were confused. How could such an esteemed organization give advice that was “so out of touch with real American family life,” as one mother commented to the evening news? In those five years, children’s media appetites have hardly slackened. In fact, ‘screen time’ has eclipsed ‘TV watching’ as the name for such activities, given the plethora of devices on which real or animated moving and talking figures can now inform, distract, stimulate and baby-sit our young. So what is a parent to do?

 

An enlightening new study by the Joan Ganz Cooney Center and Sesame Workshop,, “Always Connected: Young Children’s Media Use is On the Rise (March 2011),” tells us what parents are actually doing. It seems like many parents don’t know about the guidelines anymore, given that the majority of parents ignore them.   They may feel a need to ‘plug the kids into something besides me [i.e. the parent],’ or they turn a deaf ear because they feel that media exposure stimulates intellectual growth and development or they feel that ‘it’s something the world will expect my kid to be able to use, so the earlier the better.’ The report goes on:

 

  • For the time being, television remains the favorite medium.  90% of the average families sampled with children over five had kids who were regular, even enthusiastic, viewers. They watched an average of three hours per day.

 

  • Media use by young children ranges across a variety of platforms. 80% of sampled kids five and under are on the internet at least once a week and slightly less than half of all six-years-olds regularly play video games.

 

  • Media multitasking is growing quickly, with over a third of two- to eleven-year-olds using the television and the internet simultaneously (sound familiar?).

 

  • These usage patterns are likely to change, given that four of the top five electronic devices owned by children are mobile platforms.

 

So, back to that question of what is a parent to do, given that the expert advice out there seems not to have kept pace? [Keep your eyes open for some fresh guidelines from NAEYC on this topic coming to its website this year – maybe they WILL have kept pace].

 

  • If you want your kids to play imaginatively (great pre-literacy foundation!), keep the playthings away from the screen. University of Massachusetts researchers found that toddler play erodes and disorganizes when TV is on.

 

  • Keep the media diet balanced.  Print materials, screen devices, video games and DVDs should be rotated and refreshed (if not occasionally ‘lost’). Think of nutrition’s representation of a healthy, balanced diet. The food pyramid evokes positive images of a ‘media pyramid.

 

  • The best way to use the positive impact of TV (yes, there is one and this is it) is to engage parent-child pairs in co-viewing programming that stimulates learning and delight with the use of humor and playfulness (not silliness), novel topics and perspectives. This prevents the use of TV as a baby-sitter, but that’s the point. There is no stand-in for you, or the delight that you take, in your child’s growth and health.

 

The Goddard School webpage

Five Tips For Healthy Eating

  • Offer encouragement – Encourage your child to eat a variety of foods to help them get the nutrients they need from each food group.  By doing so, they are more likely to enjoy trying new foods!
  • Be a good role model – It’s no surprise that children are likely to mimic their parents’ food choices.  If your children see you enjoying fruits, vegetables and whole grains, they will more likely enjoy them as well.
  • Stock up on healthy choices – Make sure that your cupboards and refrigerator are filled with healthy options rather than prepackaged foods filled with sugar and sodium. Read food labels before purchasing so you know exactly what’s in the foods you are buying—just because it’s made with whole grains doesn’t necessarily mean it’s healthy.
  • Serve balanced portions – The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) has turned the Food Pyramid into a plate. The USDA’s MyPlate illustrates balanced portion sizes for the five foods groups—Fruits, Vegetables, Grains, Protein and Dairy—in a familiar way by using a standard mealtime place setting.
  • Follow a schedule – Set a daily schedule for meals and snacks (3 meals & 1-2 snacks per day is recommended), with plenty of time between each.  This will help children learn the importance of structured eating and help them to stay feeling full throughout the day.

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10 Ways to Balance Work and Family

If you’re a working parent, achieving and maintaining a healthy work-family balance can be challenging. Here are ten tips to help you balance your work life with your personal one.

  1. Set limits. If you want to see every one of your child’s soccer games and have dinner with your family every night, make those your priorities, no matter what happens at work.
  2. Focus on work when you’re at work. Try to limit non-work-related activities, such as socializing or long lunches. Get your work done so you can leave the office on time.
  3. Work from home if you can. Working remotely every now and then allows you to be there for your child and complete your job responsibilities.
  4. Keep a family calendar. Maintaining an organized record of your family’s comings and goings can help you and your family be efficient and ensure your schedules run smoothly.
  5. Adjust your hours. If your company offers flextime and you can adopt a more flexible schedule, do so. If your company doesn’t offer flextime, have a discussion with your supervisor or manager about how a more flexible schedule would help your productivity. After all, a happy employee is a productive employee.
  6. Create a support system. If you’re fortunate enough to have relatives or friends who offer to watch your child while you’re at work, accept their help.
  7. Schedule some “me time.” Taking some time for yourself can help you to refocus so you can be a better parent. Use the time to read, relax or get some exercise.
  8. Plan ahead. Pack lunches or your child’s school bag the night before so you can have some extra family time in the morning. You could also make an extra-large amount of a particular dish over the weekend and serve it for dinner throughout the week so you don’t have to cook.
  9. Stay in touch. A gesture as small as a phone call or text message to your child during the day can let him know you’re thinking about him. You could also drop a note in his backpack or lunch box.

Explore childcare options. Whether you’re interested in a preschool or daycare, a quality childcare program is worth investigating. Research different childcare providers and take your child to visit a few of them to see which one is the best fit.

The Goddard School of Macedonia Website